When I was eight months pregnant, I only had a middle name for my baby, Irasema after her godmother. I was looking for the perfect first name for her. One day while at work at my register, two young girls were talking about their friend Jessica. I thought it my head how it would sound with her middle name. That's It! Jessica Irasema will be her name. July 12, 1984, I had false labor and was sent home. At around 5am, I began to have contractions. The ambulance was called. By that time, I was having contractions every minute. The EMT thought I would deliver in the ambulance. She was not having that. We made it to the hospital in time. She was born Friday, July 13th @6:39am in Augsburg, Germany. They quickly whisked her away. She was what they call a "Blue Baby". Later on, we were told she has Congenital Heart Disease, Dextrocardia, Pulmonary Artrisia and Ventricular something. Her heart was completely backwards. She was missing the pulmonary value and left ventricle. She would have to go to another hospital far away for better treatment. I had to say bye to my baby through an incubator. I couldn't go with her as she was going in a helicopter. I was to go the next morning. As we drove the next day, it seemed like several hours instead of just one. We finally arrived and couldn't wait to see our baby! She was hooked up to machines and wires. I was able to hold her but, not for too long. She couldn't be out of the incubator. The doctor came in and told us she would need surgery. With out it, she would have a 10% chance to live. Now, we had to plan for a trip back to the United States.

After she received her last rites, the nurse came in and told us my daughter was in distress. She asked if we wanted them to do anything. I said, no just let her be. I told my daughter, “It’s ok. Mamí’s here! You can go now. I Love You! 💛 We felt that was the best thing for our daughter. As sad as it was, we couldn’t see her suffer anymore. The worst thing was when her six year old told me, “Please don’t put my mommy in the ground.” I explained to him that his mommy was no longer in her body. That she was now in heaven. That eased his mind. Everyone started to leave. Her fiancee and I were left to be with her. We talked about her and knew she was at peace. As I was ready to leave, he wanted to stay longer with her, his final goodbye. As I left her room, I received a call from the organ donation. She was an organ donor, one thing she was sure of, she wanted to be. The person on the phone asked me about skin for burn victims. I agreed as well. Went home and cried my eyes out.

Some people just don’t understand….. I pray that they never do! It’s hard as it is already.