I really really have a soft spot for IFS 'parts work'. It has helped me conceptualize things differently and has helped quite a bit both personally and in work with clients. Have you guys seen the movie "Inside Out"? This is a nice move depiction of what's at play :)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy views the mind as a system of different “parts,” each with its own role, feelings, and goals. These parts are not bad or good; they are protective and adaptive. At the center of this system is your Core Self, which embodies the 8 C’s: Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness. By connecting with your Core Self,you can help
your parts heal and work together. Sometimes the parts will push back because maybe they don't trust the core self/each other due to past experiences or how certain things have been handled. I really really appreciate the approach with IFS because instead of pushing away/numbing/fighting with the maladaptive behaviors /thoughts that come up, we engage with them with curiosity to see what they're underlying motive is (which is good, even if their expression is hurtful) and then movement can happen in a way that is proactive.
***if you were to do some 'parts work', I would recommend doing a little bit more reading up on it and possibly even talking it through with a therapist/someone that is familiar with this. ***
🧩 The Four Main Elements of IFS
💙 The Core Self
The Core Self is your true center, the part of you that is naturally calm, curious, clear, compassionate, confident, courageous, creative, and connected. It is not a part but the leader of your inner system. When you are in Self, you can listen to your parts without judgment and guide them toward healing.
🛡️ Managers
Managers are proactive protectors. They try to keep life organized and prevent emotional pain from surfacing. They often show up as planners, perfectionists, or inner critics. Their job is to keep things under control and to avoid situations that could trigger pain from the past.
🔥 Firefighters
Firefighters are reactive protectors. When emotional pain breaks through despite the managers’ efforts, firefighters rush in to distract or numb you. They might use behaviors like overeating, overworking, scrolling endlessly, or substance use to quickly put out the “emotional fire.”
💔 Exiles
Exiles are the tender parts of you that hold past wounds, shame, fear, and vulnerability. They were often pushed away or suppressed because their pain felt overwhelming. When exiles get triggered, their feelings can flood you, which is why managers and firefighters work so hard to protect them.
🔄 How They Interact
Managers and firefighters work together to keep exiles’ pain from overwhelming you. Managers try to prevent pain, while firefighters react when pain surfaces. This system forms a protective loop. However, the Core Self can step in as a compassionate leader to heal the exiles and reassure the protectors.
🌱 Moving Toward Healing with the Core Self
IFS encourages you to meet each part with compassion and curiosity, led by the Core Self. Through gentle exploration, you can:
- Listen to what each part needs
- Reduce its burden of fear or shame
- Invite your Core Self to lead with all 8 C’s
- Create cooperation between all parts instead of inner conflict
- Allow exiles to heal in a safe, supported way
💡 Takeaway
When you understand and honor the roles of managers, firefighters, exiles, and your Core Self, you begin to transform your inner world. This is the heart of IFS parts work: healing through connection, compassion, and balance. The parts are often polarized--acting against each other even though their underlying goal can be similar. The point of 'healing' is to integrate the parts where they work together in a proactive way.
👉 Questions to ponder: Which of the 8 C’s of the Core Self do you feel strongest in right now?
Which part do you think speaks the loudest for you right now?