I did it! I did the first week of work on this course and I am proud of myself for doing it. I am proud to say I know myself better as a result of doing it and that is why I am happy with the achievement. I have moved closer to the completion of the art project of 'being myself' or living my life truly and completely. And I am glad. As I moved through the exercises I gained more insight into where I am right now and what I am using to slow myself down or restrict my movement entirely, and why I need to let go of that and that I DESERVE to let go of that. I am travelling for the next two weeks so will pause here instead of trying to overload myself and then getting upset at failing, and come late February I will start month one's training module. In the meantime I will keep this space in mind to post check in's, ask for support and share how I am feeling. I am loving this community and these exercises and what they are giving me, thank you! 😁

I bought the video game!! And I splurged for the cooler newer version that was £25 and I am as happy as I was anytime I entered a candy shop as a child because I now reown my favourite game of all time on my laptop here in 2026! It was the right choice and the right way to spend that money because now whenever I am feeling the need to move some soldiers around on a little map I know that I have Rome Total War 2 basically in my pocket! :D And now onto the week of learning how to be a Knight of the Round Table! :D 👑⚔️👑⚔️👑⚔️

No not of forever or anything drastic like that, but of this week long run that I committed myself to in order to help step into this container and guide myself back to regularity and consistency in myself. So going forward I will check in here when I want to and when I need to, which I hope is with regularity. What have I learned in this week? Slow and steady makes the mustard. Consistency is King. Set small and gentle goals and meet them. It's not about achieving it all now, or even having it all done yesterday, its about enjoying and fully embodying this present moment, and trusting that in each moment I will choose to better myself or to push myself or to accept myself as is needed in each case. The courage and the COMPASSION to be wholly and completely myself. Without fear of not being on time or enough. This allows me to get out of my own way and succeed. This allows me to make goals and hit them without fearing the size of them or the consequences of success. So, I look forward to continuing this journey of self discovery and interpretation, of self love, acceptance and success. The journey continues.

Today is my sobriety birthday and for the first time ever number 6 has crept up on me. I usually spend all of January thinking about my sobriety and my recovery and how far I've come and how far I have to go and what my sobriety means for me and what 'recovery' means to me. But this year, I judge, I am both so on mission, and my mission has grown so much wider that just 'staying sober' that I had totally forgotten to reflect on it because it wasn't necessary, it is truly just another day and another year because the work to get sober and stay sober is completely integrated. It's just part of who I am. And that is a living miracle and I love letting be mundane. Mundane Magick is often my favourite kind.

Had fun doing a first recording of a 'what's this community about' video. https://youtu.be/ZFqeHQawBJg Will re-do and refine it over coming weeks. Definitely want to reshoot with better lighting/ backdrop. Secondarily, improve the overall flow, work out the most important lines, and incorporate references for data/ studies.