You know, I'm always heard.The freshness is the hardest step in most cases , that's pretty much true. But I'm dealing with something\nRight now , where the fresh that may not be the hardest. And I'm not talking about\nPlanning or seeing if it will work. I'm talking about the hardest of this process is having to do it without telling someone because you know what their reaction will be , what once you tell them. And because of your own past trauma , you're not ready to tell them yet. But if all the pieces follow into place , it will all happen , super quick , and you have tell them.

We are halfway through the weekWe are halfway through the week.In itself that is a big win. Show how is everybody feeling? One being not good at all, 10 being\nMy wink is going great? If you want egg to explain you can if you don't have to , you don't want to , but sometimes I found out that just bring the number on it process , how i'm feeling. So on go first i'm probably at a 6.\nJust because I'm first reading, I still can't find a job.I feel like i'm boxed in. But I'm also really excited about this new opportunity\nI'm taking a little bit of a leadership bro with this because it's something i'm passionate about.

Lately, the day-to-day struggle has been overwhelming. I’ve been dating someone I care about for over a year, and I’m currently living with her and our two small dogs in her condo here in Wisconsin. But last night something hit hard: she got upset about my job situation and everything I still need to do. And the truth is, I’ve been battling something I don’t know how to fully explain. I struggle with task paralysis. When too many things are added to my plate, or when someone keeps telling me what I should be doing, something inside me freezes. I’ve even learned there’s a term for it — pathological demand avoidance — where the more pressure I feel, the harder it becomes to take action. My girlfriend is a planner. A micromanager. She means well, but when she starts going over my “to-do list” and adding more items, my brain sends out a panic alarm. I feel the anxiety rising, even though I’ve gotten very good at hiding it. She keeps explaining why I should have no excuse not to get things done… but that only makes it worse. I know what I need to do. I know the steps I need to take for me. But sometimes it feels like the more pressure I get, the more I shut down. And that’s when the dark thoughts try to creep in. Not actions — I’m completely safe — but the “Why bother? Why try? Why am I here?”kind of thoughts that come from feeling overwhelmed and not good enough. The truth is, life has hit me hard the last few years. I lost my marriage, my home, my family, and my career identity. I’m trying to rebuild. I’m starting over. And I’m doing it while trying to find a new career after 20 years as a data engineer — a field that has changed so much that I feel like a relic sometimes. I haven’t updated my cloud skills, and I’ve been out long enough that rejection feels like the only thing I’m being trained for. I can’t control who calls me for an interview. I can only control the applications I send. But every application feels like another chance to be told “no,” and that wears on you.

I have had a dream of sharing my story in hopes of inspiring other men and raise awareness of the importance of mental health. At my heaviest I was always the biggest guy in the room, and I just wanted to be invisible, and felt like apologizing for my existence. I don't need the accolades and the haters don't phase me. I feel the pain behind the hate and can have empathy for them. Somehow I feel it is a fear of success, and I can not seem to wrap my head around that.

A safe place to ask, share, and receive encouragement. This space exists for the moments when you need guidance, clarity, a listening ear, or a little extra support. Life gets heavy, and you don’t have to sort through it alone. Here, you can bring: - Your questions about mental health - Something you’re struggling with today - A situation you need advice on - Moments of overwhelm - Decisions you’re unsure about - Or anything you simply need to talk through Nothing is “too small,” “too much,” or “not important enough.”If it’s on your heart, it belongs here. How to Use This Space • Ask anything you’re comfortable asking. You’ll be met with compassion, not judgment. • Share at your own pace. Long posts, short posts, check-ins — everything is welcome. • Offer support when you can. A kind comment can mean more than you know. • Be gentle with others and yourself. Everyone is fighting a battle we can’t always see. A Few Things to Remember - We can share tools and perspective, but we don’t diagnose or replace professional care. - If you’re in crisis or in danger, please reach out to local emergency services or a crisis hotline immediately. If you are in the United States Dial: 988 - This space is here to help you feel heard, supported, and understood — not to pressure you or push you. Whatever you’re navigating right now, you don’t have to do it in silence. We’re here, walking with you, one honest conversation at a time.