Every day I spend time thinking about how much easier it would be if I was not here anymore. It is only the fact that I will I act on that impulse is why I am still here. Existing this way is exhausting. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to go through with the dark thoughts. Sometimes I think the longer I am still here just gives me more reasons to justify ending it all. This is a miserable existence.

So I'm a little rain to the party today.And for that , I apologize , the guy who takes care of this pageSo I'm a little rain to the party today.And for that, I apologize, as the guy who takes care of this page\nI want to be respectful and mindful of what you guys might need from me and if i'm not here , I can't do that. This was a little crazy , but in that craziness , some good things have happened to. In honor of that\nPick a highlight from me all this week. And if you didn't have one, that's okay.\nSome wings are like that, if you had one of those weeks, I'm sorry.\nHopefully next week will be better. My highlight of the week. Is Wednesday night? I gotta have dinner with a teammate from out of town. In the short time we've known each other. We become super close and just that time to be with someone who has the same limiks. In passions is me really recharging , and I needed it. So what was yours

Which one are you today? • Low battery • Getting through it • Steady • Good • Surprisingly okay

You know, I'm always heard.The freshness is the hardest step in most cases , that's pretty much true. But I'm dealing with something\nRight now , where the fresh that may not be the hardest. And I'm not talking about\nPlanning or seeing if it will work. I'm talking about the hardest of this process is having to do it without telling someone because you know what their reaction will be , what once you tell them. And because of your own past trauma , you're not ready to tell them yet. But if all the pieces follow into place , it will all happen , super quick , and you have tell them.

You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve the whole situation. You don’t have to feel completely okay. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is take one small step. One breath. One decision. One moment of choosing to keep going. That’s enough for today.