I consciously choose, once again, to show myself in this vulnerability—this fear of scarcity—and to give it words here. Not because it still controls me, but because I feel that truly manifesting abundance asks that I already live, think, and feel from a place of abundance now. And that also means daring to look honestly at the old voices that sometimes still arise. Especially now that in February I chose to work part-time and follow my dream of starting my own healing practice. https://youtu.be/EzjGWmg4c24?is=o-pYxpspakO9fiZe There is an old story living within me. A whisper passed down from generation to generation, not only through words, but through feeling. A tension in the body. An alertness that says: “There is not enough.” But when I look honestly at my own life, I see something else. I do not see scarcity. I see moments of being supported, of giving, of receiving. I see how there was always a roof over my head, how there was always food, how in one way or another, there was always care. For me and for my children. Yes, I have worked hard. I denied myself many things for years, when at 33 I suddenly had to continue life on my own. Not because there was truly nothing, but because that old fear lived in my system. A fear that was never truly mine. A fear carried by grandmothers who had to survive in times of war.By a mother who suddenly stood alone, without security, without a safety net.A fear that rooted itself in the collective field and nested in the bodies of the generations that followed. But when I feel deeply, I know: this story is not mine. My children have grown up in abundance. Not in material wealth, but in care and support. In unexpected gifts. In people who showed up at exactly the right moment. Clothes passed on with love. A washing machine that did not just appear, but came as an act of love—my sister gifting it, wrapped with a big red ribbon, a moment I will never forget. A gifted journey into a dream world—Disney—that became real.

I had the longest conversation with myself on my the way home from work today. I may have mentioned this already, but I work at a tavern part time. Every so often and because it is a mile up the road from my current residence, I will walk to work or home from work whenever it strikes me. Well, earlier tonight, I decided to do just that... and low and behold, what is basically in my far-sighted peripheral face the whole walk home? 🌝The Scorpio Full Moon in all it's Flower Moon glory! And with me being a Scorpio and my moon being in Virgo, I felt the need to have the deepest, transformative conversation about the "imperfections" of my transformation into not just the evolvement of my person, but also with the nagging notion of this apartment complex that I've been pulled to apply for an apartment for. Why is so pertinent to the story? Well... I'm SO glad you asked! 😅 For the past few weeks, I've had this pull and resistance to apply for this apartment across the highway from where I currently live. To give context of relevance, my healing journey had to consist of alleviating trauma that was caused by my mother whom I currently live with. Now, of course nothing against her, but there have been some changes in our relationship that has just brought me to a point to where I know and realize that I cannot reside under the same roof as her (under the pretense of caring for her as my father passed away shortly before the pandemic) and progress in my own healing journey (which consisted of not just trauma recovery, but also addiction recovery) has brought me to a point to where I cannot become the person I need to be directly living under her roof. This is some of the reason for the push/pull to get this place. The previous was one aspect perspective of this moving situation. Another context of relevance has to do with the uncertainty that if I get this place, will I be able to maintain financial stability to sustain the rent. It's weird because I am worried about that to a degree, but something else (???) is telling me that even though I don't know the answers as to how that is to come about that it will... here's the odder thing about this: I'm not sure if that's my gut, my mind, or my heart telling me that...but something within feels solid about that notion... ...and that personally scares me!

Clear Blocks & Allow The Good In. Once you know who you are, it's impossible to lose anything. The more of us awake & stand tall and say no! NO MORE! We do not stand for the darkness. A spell only works in the dark, Light is the only weapon you need. Stay as high vibe as you can! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfYHK8ES2Tk