10d • General discussion
✨ Judgment is the enemy of love.
And yes - that includes self-love.
We often think judgment is harmless. “It’s just an opinion. It’s just how I see things.”
But energetically and biologically, judgment does something very specific: it closes the heart.
🌿 What judgment actually does (scientifically)
When you judge yourself or others, your system goes into protection mode.
- Your brain shifts into threat detection
- Your nervous system prepares to defend, fix, compare, attack or withdraw
- Stress chemistry rises
- The body subtly enters fight/flight or freeze
On a brain level, judgment pulls you into separation: “me vs. you, good vs. bad, worthy vs. unworthy”
That separation feeling is the opposite of what love does.
Love creates connection, safety, and openness. Judgment creates distance, tension, and defence.
You can’t be fully open and fully defensive at the same time. The body literally won’t allow it.
💛 Self-judgment: how it blocks self-love
Every time you tell yourself:
- “I should be further along.”
- “I’m not enough.”
- “I’m too much.”
- “I always mess this up.”
your nervous system hears: “I am not safe as I am.”
So it contracts. Your heart space tightens. Breath becomes shallow. The body holds its breath around your own existence.
Self-judgment doesn’t “motivate” you. It puts you into survival mode around your own identity.
And in survival, love struggles to flow.
🌌 Spiritually: why judgment and love don’t coexist
From a spiritual perspective, love is recognition: the recognition that underneath all patterns, pain, stories and roles - there is something pure, conscious and whole.
Judgment locks onto the surface. It fixates on behaviour, labels, mistakes, timelines, and appearances.
Love sees essence. Judgment sees the mask and calls it the truth.
Love says: “I see your humanity and your divinity.”
Judgment says: “I reduce you to the part of you I don’t like.”
When you judge yourself, you’re doing the same: reducing your entire being to a moment, a pattern, a trait. That reduction is a form of inner violence.
🧠 The chemistry of love vs. judgment
When you are in love, compassion, and appreciation:
- Your heart rhythm becomes more coherent
- Your nervous system regulates
- Hormones shift towards healing and repair
- Your field expands - you feel softer, more intuitive, more present
When you are in judgment, criticism, or comparison:
- Your system prepares for attack (even if the attack is coming from you)
- Your perception narrows
- You lose access to creativity, intuition and nuance
- You see less truth and more distortion
So when I say “judgment is the enemy of love”, I'm not being poetic. We’re describing different states of consciousness and biology.
🌙 What to do with this?
This doesn’t mean you never notice what hurts you. It doesn’t mean you tolerate everything.
There’s a difference between discernment and judgment.
- Discernment says: “This doesn’t feel right for me. I choose differently.” (while still holding love and compassion for yourself and the other).
- Judgment says: “This is wrong, bad, unworthy. I (or you) are not enough.”
One separates. The other guides.
🪽 For today…
Notice where you are judging:
- Your body
- Your path
- Your past
- Your feelings
- Your actions
- Your thoughts
- Your progress
- Other people’s pace, choices, and beliefs
And gently ask:
“What would this look like if I met it with love instead of judgment? ”Not to excuse. Not to bypass. But to see more truth.
Because the more love you bring in, the safer your system feels. And the safer your system feels, the easier it is to grow, change and heal.
Judgment contrasts. Love expands.
And you are here to expand. 💜
PS.: Is it just me, or have you ever noticed that every time I judge something about someone, life provides me with the opportunity to experience it myself and see that actually in their shoes I also wouldn't have been able to decide differently? And if I were able to choose a different path in the same situation, then now I'm able to provide them with that realisation and support. Life has a humour for sure. Beautiful.
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✨ Judgment is the enemy of love.
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