🛑 How to Handle "Yes-Men" Who Mean "No": · 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝙎𝙄𝙁𝙔 🍓🐛🦋🌈⭐️🩷

2d (edited) • 🍓 Chat

🛑 How to Handle "Yes-Men" Who Mean "No":

A Masterclass in Clinical Accountability

We’ve all dealt with the "Andrew" type. They promise the world on Monday, give you "The Word of a Man" on Tuesday, and by Wednesday, they’re buried under "big projects" and excuses.

I recently had to deliver a "Slap" to a client who has been in a cycle of broken promises since October. Here is the context of that exchange and the breakdown of the Relationship Matrix in action.

🧩 The Matrix Framework (A Teaser)

The Matrix is a diagnostic tool used to measure a man's state of being. It operates on four stages:

• Stage 0: Surviving/Whining – Driven by comfort and avoiding reality.

• Stage 1: Easily Replaced – Lacks unique value or leadership.

• Stage 2: Self-Sufficient – Takes full ownership of his word.

• Stage 3: The Elite – Operating at peak efficiency.

The Exchange: The "Slap" vs. The "Rebel"

The Slap (My Message):

Andrew, we’re done with the excuses. Your words are empty and, quite frankly, pathetic. You are a man who can’t be trusted with his word, and that makes you a liar... You are currently a Burden to everyone in your life. A man who lacks integrity is a weight, not a leader. This is the cancer destroying your life and your relationships.

The Rebel Reaction (His Response):

I'm gonna be very abundantly clear with you. I understand that you wanna work together... but I'm busy organizing two big projects right now and I don't have time to text you back-and-forth... I will give you a call and I will set the record straight... This is where I'm driving the line.

1. Identify the "Loser Insecurity"

When he claims he's "too busy organizing projects" to settle a debt he promised days ago, he is triggering the Loser Insecurity.

• The Reality: He uses fake credentials (the "projects") to hide a lack of production. If he were actually a high-level producer, his word would be bankable.

• The Fix: Stop respecting "busy" talk. If a man has been "about to blow up" for 4 months but can't keep a simple commitment, he is a Burden, not a mogul.

2. Spot the "Rebel" Defensive Flip

Notice his aggressive tone? He tried to "draw a line" and demand a phone call.

• The Strategy: This is a defense mechanism of the Victim Insecurity. He wants a phone call because a "Yes-Man" hates a paper trail. He wants to use emotion and "voice" to manipulate the coach back into a "soft" state.

• The Rule: Never move an accountability boundary from text to a phone call. Action is a receipt; everything else is a story.

3. Apply the "Integrity Slap"

You cannot coach a man who doesn't trust his own word.

• The Mirror: I told him: "Either you stick with your commitment and act with integrity, or you stay exactly where you are—stuck in the hell of your own excuses."

• The Ultimatum: I set the deadline for Friday. I refused the call. By doing this, you stop being a negotiator and start being the Authority.

4. The Choice: Broken or Self-Sufficient

As a leader, your job isn't to save people from their own lack of integrity. Your job is to offer the Stage 2 path. If they choose to stay Broken or Invalid, you must be willing to walk away.

Community Takeaway: You don't lose a client when a "Yes-Man" leaves; you gain back the energy he was stealing from your tribe. Don't be afraid to be the "Slap" that wakes them up—or the wall that shuts them out.

8 comments