A desperate, heartbroken mum 💔
I am beyond angry. I am devastated!
I’m shaking as I write this because I cannot understand how ONE person - one adult - can inflict so much emotional damage on an 11-year-old boy.
My son used to be full of light. He lived and breathed goalkeeping. He had passion, hope, fire - this beautiful spark that made him feel unstoppable. And now? Now he’s a shattered version of himself.
He’s drowning in self-doubt, questioning everything he used to love. He genuinely believes he’s not good enough to be a goalkeeper anymore.
An eleven-year-old child should never feel that way.
And what breaks me the most is that the very people who were supposed to protect him, guide him, nurture him, DEVELOP him - the ones he trusted - are the same ones who tore him apart. His so-called coach, the one who promised him the world, who stood in front of him telling him how “amazing” he was… that same man turned around and ripped him to pieces that no one else saw.
How can someone build up a child with one breath and destroy him with the next?
Does he even realise what he’s done to my son? No. He doesn’t. And he carries on with his life as if nothing happened. As if he hasn’t left an 11-year-old boy picking up the broken pieces of his confidence. The damage is done, and he doesn’t give a damn. And everyone around him still supports him and praises him and we are classed as pests, a nuisance and causing trouble!
Meanwhile, I’m left watching my son crumble.
My heart aches - physically aches - for my boy. And I don’t know how to bring his spark back. 😭
For the first time in over two years, he refused to go to goalkeeper training. He said, “I can’t dive… I’m not good enough… the other boys are better, so what’s the point?” Hearing those words from a child who used to throw himself around the pitch with joy and bravery tore something inside me.
And the truth? He is an amazing keeper. So many people have told him that—coaches, parents, players. But it doesn’t matter. When a child with ADHD hears something negative—especially from someone he admires—it cuts deeper than anyone realises. It sticks. It festers. It becomes truth to them.
How do you convince an 11-year-old boy who takes every harsh word straight to heart that he IS a superstar when he’s been traumatised by the very people he trusted most?
The damage is real. And trying to rebuild him feels like trying to glue together shattered glass.
I’m desperate. I’m heartbroken. I just want my boy to feel joy again - to feel proud of himself, to love being a goalkeeper like he used to.
Please… someone tell me. How do we help him believe in himself again? How do we give him back that spark, that love, that confidence he once had?
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Rachael Holmes
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A desperate, heartbroken mum 💔
Total Goalkeeping
skool.com/goalkeeper
Helping football goalkeepers become professional keepers or gain a college scholarship. We have been helping keepers and parents since 1998.
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