I have been recently getting more taste to be brave lately: My last date, yesterday evening did not go as I expected as there were so many red flags. (He talked about politics, talked more than I, tried to control what I chose on the menu, criticized the area where I live in in terms of religion and buildings, criticized my phone to be too old and that I need to buy a new version because it's running out of storage). The hardest thing to me is to send a message to say that I am not interested because I am afraid sometimes to have an abusive response, but I had to do it. I am not going to continue blindly and being the painter 🖌️that says all is well, until I get into the relationship and I can no more. Hence, I sent him a text, and I archived the conversation because I was so afraid to see his response and it would waste my day in case of abusive response. Three hours later, I decided to look at his response and was surprised how positive it was and healing because now it gives me the courage to continue dating even more without being afraid to turn the man down. One of the sentences he said in his response, was particularly healing to me because he said: "I would have loved to continue dating you, but it is how you feel it" It is how I feel it 🙂💗 So, in brief, it helps me to continue sending messages like this if I didn't feel comfortable on a date without being afraid getting an abusive/inappropriate response. PS: Another win is that I also sent for the third time an email to my manager asking for a raise even though she kept ignoring my emails, she finally responded and said she will give me an answer in a few days.

I have just set a clear boundary over the phone while talking with a customer from my job, who was clearly disrespectful. It was quick. Usually I take a deep breath or just freeze. However, since I just saw one of this mastermind's recording "You belong to yourself first"; I took inspiration from it and was quick to set the boundary, without waiting even a second. I said I will disconnect the call because of what he just have said. I imposed myself without letting him continue to talk since it was unacceptable. I feel that I am unlearning to please people and relearning to own this life and deserving only good things. While we were taught to be nice and were rewarded for it, now we are shown it is unacceptable to give our power away. Thus, I am feeling I am rewriring my brain to learn the opposite of what I always knew about: please people. Now, this mastermind is a safe space to be rewarded to just stand for ourselves even if sometimes society might think it is ridiculous to do so.

CHECK OUT MY NEW UPLOAD>..if everyone is effed up, how do we date? The 100% Rule is that everyone is fucked up but STILL from everyone there are two people HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY :) Learn and BECOME Healthy to attract..not what you want, but who you are!! Love, Chaya

Today we touched upon PAIN! What we are willing to tolerate and what we are even willing to admit! SO IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY: Im not okay, that wasn't cool, he did waste my time, that is frustrating. Our negative emotions need to be felt and acknowledged so we have a higher tolerance for the pain WE CREATE to best serve our goals! What have you been not feeling great about, but you keep saying is "okay?"

I wanted to share developments with two men I met online recently: 1. R. and I have many things in common and were enjoying daily video calls for a few days. I didn't balk when he called me sweetie; didn't tell him not to. He told me right away that his only income at present is disability and he'll be starting part-time work soon to save for a car. Anyway, he told me an untruth in one conversation and confessed the next day that he lied; hoped it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I told him that I appreciated his honesty and it would be a deal breaker if it happened again. He asked me to lunch when he gets his next check. I explained that I'd be on vacation, but it could be when I get back. Our conversation on Sunday made it even more clear how strained his resources are, and that is not a situation I'm comfortable with - been there before with a few partners. Yesterday he messaged that he'd sensed some reserve and thought it was about the honesty hiccup. I said that without being critical or judgmental, I'm not comfortable with his financial situation and that it wouldn't work out for us. In his profile, he stated that he wanted to be told if the woman didn't feel that he was dateable, so I told him. I believe that I said it gently, but was true to my values/boundaries. 1. D. and I have only had some brief messages on an app. He asked me out for coffee or a walk and suggested the date and time. Asked me for suggestions where to meet in my area. That is happening tomorrow. Nice change. We'll see how it goes. I'll be on vacation and will miss the next two group calls. My best to all in the group. Jo Ann