Gratitude family. It’s a blessing in some ways to catch replays instead of lives — I can pause and rewind when something was profound and also take a 30 min dance break instead of 10! I did this session right before bed last week and went to sleep after. Below is what’s come up since then. I really enjoy sharing after sessions but my mind is so saturated with downloads and bliss that I can only ever get a fraction of it out. I started writing out my reflections on the session and it quickly turned into a fuckn essay lol. I feel like this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to capturing the insights that come through in a workshop. Read on if you got time. Peace and love family! —— I really enjoyed this session. It had been a while since I connected with cannabis. When I was sitting on my porch smoking, I felt an encompassing level of acceptance that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. The breathwork led me deeper into that feeling. Like probably many of us, I usually only allow myself to feel good when I’m DOING good. Checking things off my to do list, being consistent with my practices, etc. My worthiness is something I’ve been particularly focused on recently. My biggest takeaway was that no sense of perceived worthiness will come if I don’t feel truly safe in my own skin first. I realized I have unconsciously made my healing transactional. “Once I heal my lack mindset, then I’ll be able to attract riches, or soulmate love, or conscious friendships,” my mind says. This whole time, I have made myself unworthy because there is “something I have to achieve” — some “certain level I must get to” before I can experience the objects of my desires (connection, money, security). It is not so!!! Am I really expected to believe that Bezos or Zuckerberg or Trump is worthy of their authority and abundance because of the internal work they have done? HA! (No shade but get real 😂) Clearly I misunderstood the rules of the game somewhere. The incongruence between how I feel about myself internally (because of all the healing and work I’ve done) and what my life looks like externally is summed up in this one question: “How many more upgrades do I need to receive before my outward life stops sucking ass?”