I want to challenge one sentence that I've seen damage remarriages. “You knew what you were signing up for.” When people say that, what we really mean is: “This is how I am.” And underneath that is this belief: If you love me, you should just accept it. But marriage is not an acceptance contract. It is a transformation covenant. Remarriage especially. You don’t get to freeze your flaws in place and call it your personality. You don’t get to defend patterns that hurt unity because they were visible before the wedding. Growth is not optional in remarriage. And if we’re honest, sometimes we use that sentence to avoid the harder work — humility, change, and surrender. If you’ve ever said it, ask yourself: Was I protecting the marriage…or protecting myself? There’s a difference. The faster you can become self-aware, The faster you and your spouse can become one. ♥️

Yesterday I asked a question that a lot of couples deal with… Many of you are carrying the weight of unclear boundaries.Most couples were never taught how to set boundaries together. Would it be helpful if Mike & I went live here in skool and walked through how to identify which boundaries your marriage actually needs right now? If you missed it here is the post I am referencing above. https://www.skool.com/blendedfamilymomentum/boundaries-are-built-with-your-spouse?p=54fb14ac

Boundaries create freedom but most couples were never taught how to set them together. Where in your marriage do you need clearer boundaries right now?

There will come a time when our children have to pay the price for the choices we made in our life. Years ago, the son I brought into our marriage—who Mike later adopted—was coerced by my ex’s parents into believing that he was just like his “dad” and that he would love him. Mike was on deployment in Iraq, and our son was 17 when he made the choice to meet his “dad” for dinner. That night, when our son returned home, his first heartbreaking words were, “that guy is trash, I am glad I wasn’t raised with him.” As tough a kid as he was, the realization that my choices were THE reason my son was now sobbing came crashing down on me. I felt so terrible. Our son cried for three straight hours that night, and there was nothing I could do to stop his pain…. My point in telling you this is simple. Your choices matter. You cannot go back and have a redo on choices that were already made, but you can make choices that help your kids now. You can be forgiving. You can be a positive example. You can let your guard down and choose love. There is so much you can do… So please keep that in mind as you make choices each day. Realize you do have a choice in every single moment. What your spouse or kids choose does not determine how you choose to be. Be the example. 💜

This is not a question you need to answer in the comments, but do answer it to yourself… How often does your spouse do something for you and you don’t acknowledge it—or even notice? At times, I get wrapped up in my own thoughts and I don’t notice things. I don’t appreciate Mike for what a thoughtful human he is. I told you guys that something happened to Mike two weeks ago, but Mike went into detail about what happened in last week’s video. Neither one of us knew how serious the issue was at first. Then I found myself sitting in the waiting room, praying that the procedure they were doing worked and that God would allow Mike to live. My mind flashed to all the times I expected X, Y, and Z—but didn’t at least thank him. Friend, don’t wait until it is too late. Tell your spouse what they mean to you. Tell them how much you appreciate them. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. That is why it is so important to love on people now.