Why Standards Matter More Than You Think... One of the biggest struggles we see in blended families isn’t attitude, behavior, or even conflict. It’s confusion. When a home doesn’t have clear standards, it feels like a wave crashing onto shore—everyone reacting, no one quite sure what’s expected, and a lot of unnecessary friction that slowly erodes trust. Teamwork doesn’t grow in chaos. It grows in clarity. 1️⃣ Teamwork Starts with a shared standard A standard isn’t a list of punishments. It’s an agreement. It’s you and your spouse deciding, together, “This is how we live in this home.” In blended families, this matters even more because: - There’s already been disruption - Kids come from different histories - Exes, schedules, and loyalties add pressure Without a shared standard, children don’t feel safe, they feel like they’re navigating moving goalposts. And when standards are inconsistent, kids don’t rise to the highest one. They drift toward the easiest one. Unfortunately, that’s human nature. 2️⃣ One Standard Means One Standard Teamwork breaks down quickly when: - One child gets exceptions - Another is held to a higher bar - Parents adjust rules based on mood, guilt, or exhaustion This doesn’t create compassion—it creates resentment. Kids notice when: - “That rule applies to me, but not them.” - “Mom means it… unless she’s tired.” - “Dad says no… unless it’s inconvenient.” Over time, inconsistency damages: - Sibling relationships - Parent-child trust - Stepparent credibility - Marital unity A standard only works if it applies across the board and that includes you. 3️⃣ Never Move the Standard instead Re-Evaluate It There’s a difference between being rigid and being wise. If you set a standard that no one can realistically meet, the answer isn’t to keep lowering it—it’s to re-evaluate it. Ask: - Is this age-appropriate? - Is this something we’re willing to enforce together? - Does this align with the kind of family we’re building?