Yeah, just spoke to my grandson 20, 📞who's now going to the gym - we spoke about the protein shakes I'm on and nutrition and lifting ( free weights - barbell ) " yeah, well you got all the weights there nanny, so, whats stopping you? " Dag nab it - "I gave my weights and barbell away over a year ago". He looked disappointed. I was silent - then thinking it through - I wasn't eating anything that could get me up off a sofa without a push, back then. But now, well I'm eating what I should - mostly, and sometimes, I feel strong, and fly round the house with heaps of energy, but stuck - this getting out the house sh*t. So yeah, the free weights - just need a boost guys

I've been good so far and then slipped a bit - but back on track with doing what I need to do. Ready to take this up a notch - and become thoroughly on track. I have to account for days when I 'comfort eat' the odd doughnut and look at why I beat myself up when I slip - and thankfully i'm beginning to recognise the reasons why. Thanks for your support Matt in the week on this. much appreciated.

Last night I realised what I was doing to some degree ( faux consciousness) - accepted a take away - Chinese dinner- something 'we' always had, same order: Singapore noodles (hot), chicken curry and sweet and sour chicken Hong Kong style with egg fried rice. A smaller portion would be good and I still logged it - knowing I only had 400 odd calories left. Earlier in the day I also noticed I wanted something sweet so took the fig roll biscuits that I now, new me, was not even bothered with for over a week. Now not having any sugar at all - yes a whole seven days of not eating any sugar and noticing that the 'cravings' for them were now gone. Fig rolls logged in My Fitness Pal and even the take away logged. But I also knew that I was not wanting to do the 30 minute walk that evening. I was with the take away person. I wanted to just be with them and do our normal stuff. They also had profiteroles from the local co-op " a couple" i then asked for one of them. A whole portion was brought in. I was surprised and still ate the three in the portion ( little container) and within 30 minutes was in pain. Liver - area - like gallbladder pain and went to bed still in pain. until I fell asleep - my weigh in this morning is now up. and I have learned a lesson: I am accountable for what decisions I make and what happens to my body. I am accountable for the sugar I chose to have, the walk I didn't want to do and the evening I had and yet..... and yet.. i have learned also that my body is speaking loud and clear: Body: " Thank the Lord, you've started this programme, you're doing good - love your decision making, and determination, I've been crying out for you to make this change, keep going" Me: "ah, cheers" Body: "erm, so, er.... last night?" Me: "Yeah..... about last night..." I had a very clear reaction to the Fat intake ( profiteroles) which I was clearly not able to take after a good amount of time of watching what I've been eating. I also allowed the sugar back in.. and maybe that was more to do with the associations I had with sugar and the person I consumed sugar with " sweet like chocolate!" and the pair of us diabetic - phah! - and now I am ready to take back these decisions and learn from them.

Really pleased that I am finally away from my desk and facing my fears - ( agoraphobia ) walking in the freezing cold - took a protein shake just before - and was going fast which was a little dangerous as it was so darn icy underfoot - 20 mins in, I felt the speed drop and I walked back, dead on 30 minutes later - steps increased massively - and Macros on point for the morning's breakfast - - here's last nights dinner too. ( Herby Paprika Chicken ) recipe will follow https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEXyVJFNKhW/?igsh=MTl3eTdsbWNtaGIycA==