I sometimes feel like I've lost a huge chunk of my life behind wrong decisions due to parental pressure and myself as well. Most of my friends are successful in job but what am I doing. Sometimes it feels so difficult to break the cycle of old patterns while living in the same space. Like I need way too much of strength, will power to go against myself. I cannot move out as well due to finances. I want to take steps towards what I want but I don't exactly know how to get there. I've always been the alienated one, the excluded one who couldn't relate or others couldn't relate. I kept healing myself and in that journey I am left with 0 human friends for now. Even if I feel I got some people to talk, I quickly realize how superficial it is for most people, how people don't feel interested in my topic of interests like Philosophy, spirituality etc. I am ok with it when I'm at my zone. I keep maintaining but somehow if I snap out of it for 1-2 days I somehow gets slipped into the old pattern little by little. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so useless sometimes. Like I want to do those things so bad but it's like the whole environment is working against you so you need too much of will power. And also I need to proper direction but not sure what can I do. I've learnt a lot of lessons in my life when it comes to healing myself. I want to share it with the world, Don’t know how. Then I see how people my age are so successful, doing great jobs in the field they study in. While I was stuck with a sub bcz my parents didn't give me much choice and I wasted so much of my years to understand and reinvent myself. It's an concoction of so many feelings... ugh...

My emotions have been close to the surface this morning. I did walk for more than an hour. There's just so much upheavel within and in the collective, something that is unavoidable triggered me. I am making a concsious decision to be in "neutral" when the situation surfaces, as it will. It not something I have any managability with. That's part of the trigger ... I get to let it go with a sense of 'okay, shift into nuetral' do what needs to be done and move forward with as much grace as possible. In some ways, a couple of ways actually, I feel so far behind where I want to be, where I truly thought I'd be at this point in 2025 and yet, since July 1st, nearly 5 months ago, I'm in such a very different, more positive 'space' than I ever thought or allowed myself to believe would / could happen in mid-June. There's so much I have yet to accomplish, that I deeply desire to accomplish before the this 2025 cycle concludes in just 5+ weeks. No it won't be the end of things, just wanted to be further ahead of where the path, my current 'reset path' is opening and guiding me. Yes, all things happen at the right moment and in the right way(s). Still, it can feel like I'm letting my Guides down .... totally a conscious mind thing 🤔🙄😣 sharing this here with all y'all helps release more of what I have been releasing this morning, clearing the way for I can do now this moment. Thanks for reading, listening and just being here 🙏

One of the strongest realities in existence is that, life, in and of itself, is governed by a moral and good consciousness. So all that the forces of good really have to do is preserve the way it already is. Which is much easier than trying to force your will into what is already set up to have good flourish. I'm reminded of this fact of nature as i read old journal entries. The strongest play that the forces of good has is absolute UNITY. unshakable alliances of every single person claiming to want to live their life in a joyful and peaceful way. Loving, goodness and not to cause others to suffer. But to themselves thrive and have abundance. Then through their own understanding and the fact that we "Have" they branch out and have the ability to approve of joy and care to their people (Children, Friends, Family etc...) Life itself is meant to be lived in the light of a social and acceptable manner. That is why there is a law. The Lawless have to be under constant threat of 'Justice' as those who practice the fruits of the spirit. And believe me if you want to develop a "Skill" you must practice. But after you have done the work required to bring about your own Deep Gratitude Kindness Goodness Faithfulness or you could just say "Love" then you are truly getting to a place where this "Fruit" can grow. I have been in a situation where my social media was taking my mind for a trip somewhere i did not want to go. Then i read a post on High Vibe Tribe where it mentioned some of you have been looking at old journal entries as well as notes you've made in books you've read even scripture. And i was encouraged to do just that. So that time i spent "Doomscrolling" was not wasted it's actually fuel for a fire lit in me to make a HUGE push forward with this next season to get stuff done and share what i have created as far as energy vibrations even the frequency created by my acoustic guitar. And really do something....Really become a better version of myself! My Mind has been Renewed!

May everyone have a high flying day that is not a turkey or lays an egg!

This is exactly what i'm talking about. I just now made a post about remembering just who and the "Eff" i am. I am a man of limitless potential a divine being capable of "Love" That is not a weak or mellow thing to be a divine being capable of "Love" It's actually a very strong and very BIG AWESOME thing. Just think Social media is junk food for the mind. And after a while you definitely feel the affects. But the upswing, or you could say natural reaction is that once you've realized that you've been wasting your life. Doom Scrolling and generally taking in trash and nonsensical mumbo jumbo about which silicone flusy did which drugs with who where. It's like you just come to a realization that i dont have to do that anymore. I can open a journal and read just exactly in depth just how AWESOME i REALLY am and what the Human Machine is Capable of. We were meant to live for far more than Scrolling an endless stream of ridiculousness as well as heinous dumpster fire. I'm honestly Grateful for the stupidity of some of the "News" and "stories" i've seen over the last few days. Why? Because i have a choice...no body is forcing me to waste my time on that bullcrap. I am a completely free and autonomous human being. And from this moment forward i'm going to act like the Child of God i am meant to be. and you know what? That's okay! No one is going to stop me. And if they want to? They "CANT" and i'ma frustrate the darkness with my light. They got a trick in wasting a few of my days. and now i reload and fire back. Peace like hair grease!