Do you ever find yourself awake at 2 a.m. wondering if you’re still a recurring character in someone else’s story? My brain does this from time to time, usually starting with something specific like my Grad Night date at Disneyland in the late ’80s. I wonder if she ever thinks of me, or if I’ve been entirely edited out of her personal history. Then the spiral continues to former coworkers, old crushes, and people I haven't spoken to in decades. It is a strange realization that we all carry around these mental ghosts of people who have moved on to entirely different lives. I find the inevitable fade into obscurity kind of liberating. People get so worked up about legacies and being remembered forever, but I have decided to keep my final resting place a secret. If I am going to be the person, like 99% of the rest of us, whose grave eventually no one visits, I would rather just be a permanent mystery than a forgotten landmark. I have even put it in my will that my body is to be composted and distributed in a secret place known only to one person. Does your brain ever take you down these rabbit holes, or are you better at staying in the present than I am? (Image created with ChatGPT.)

I found a sliding door that leads directly into a brick wall, which is either a major architectural oversight or the most honest metaphor I’ve seen all year. It’s a pretty solid reminder that you can put in the work to open a door to a new direction, only to find out the universe decided to lay some masonry in your path while you weren't looking. The thing is, you don’t actually know if a path is a portal or a dead end until you give the handle a tug. Sometimes the door opens to a secret room, and sometimes it just opens to more work. If you hit a wall, you just pivot and find a different door to knock on. It’s better to know for sure than to spend your life wondering what was behind the heavy metal. Worst case scenario, you just move on to the next opening and hope there's less mortar involved.

I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for this community. Recently someone from this group reached out to me privately. I won’t name them here, but if they want to step forward they certainly can. They simply wrote to say they had noticed a pattern in some of my recent posts and wanted to check in to make sure I was doing okay. They asked if I needed anything and if there was anything they could do to help. Think about that for a moment. Someone I only know from this group took the time to reach out just to make sure another member was emotionally and mentally okay. That kind of thoughtfulness says a lot about the type of people in this community. Small gestures like that can make a big difference in someone’s day, and it reminded me why spaces like this matter so much. So to the person who reached out, thank you. And to everyone here who contributes to making this a supportive place, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

In a very engaging live call today a very interesting question was posed. Which I will get to. I think a lot of our problems can be put down to our expectations of other people. We expect people to act like we do, we expect to be treated with respect. Basically we expect people to treat us the way we would treat them, only to find out our expectations and what is reality are very much at odds. Now the question. "Where does that expectation that we have come from"? I think like most people in this community we were brought up to be people pleasers. Putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We were indoctrinated to believe that there's good in everyone if you just look hard enough for it. This naturally led to a belief that everyone else is just like us, and we all want the same things. Newsflash: people aren't like us and most of the time there is no good in people, no matter how hard you look for it. Your decency has been weaponised against you. We don't all want the same thing. Most people just want to have one over on you, and have a hidden agenda to ensure they get a rung further up the ladder than you. Your expectations are a belief that someone else gave you. Maybe it's time you had a look at that belief. Personally I have zero expectations of people. I expect they are going to shit on me. That way I am not disappointed by their actions. They seldom let me down. Hoping a few of you jump in and we get an important discussion going.

What Is The Best Thing You Have Said No To Recently? Growth is not just about what you add to your life. It is about what you are willing to cut out to make room for greatness. Sometimes saying no to a good opportunity is the only way to say yes to a great one. What did you turn down to stay focused on your empire? Like and comment below.