The season is arriving the way it always does—soft at first… then suddenly everywhere. Lights in windows. Songs in grocery aisles.A kind of collective remembering. And with it comes the old pressure: lists, carts, wrapping paper, deadlines, receipts—the loud, glittering chorus of more. But under all of that…there’s a quieter invitation. To return to what can’t be bought to remember what actually lasts. Because the truest gifts of the season don’t come with bows. They come like this: - a call you almost didn’t make - a name spoken with tenderness - Forgiveness offered without a speech - a chair pulled out for someone who feels alone - a story told again… because it matters who remembers it - a moment of peace where fear used to sit - a “I’m here” that costs nothing—and means everything This time of year holds many sacred languages. Some call it Christmas. Some call it light returning. Some call it love, community, mercy, remembrance, or grace. Whatever words you use, most of us are longing for the same thing: To belong to-To be seen To be held—without having to earn it. So here’s our gentle question for Kettle & Candle this week: What is one “spiritual gift” you want to give (or receive) this season—something you can’t put in a box? If you want a few prompts to choose from, pick one: 1. A gift I’m giving this year is… (presence, patience, listening, honesty, kindness, repair) 2. A gift I’m craving is… (peace, time, forgiveness, laughter, rest, belonging) 3. One small ritual that brings me back to what matters is… 4. A person I want to reach for—before the season passes—is… (no details needed) If your season is joyful, bring that joy here. If your season is tender or complicated, bring that too. There’s room at this table for all of it. 🕯️ Put the kettle on… We’ll meet each other in the simple, sacred things.

My 90 yr old Dad has agreed to talk about ACP beyond his Will next time I visit him!!

If you’ve just joined Kettle & Candle—or you’ve been quietly peeking around the edges—this is for you. This space exists for people who know, deep down, that life is short… and want to live it wide.We talk about mortality, grief, advance care planning, and legacy—not to be morbid, but to be honest. This is not a doom-and-gloom room. This is a candlelit table where we tell the truth, ask real questions, and make real plans. Put the kettle on. You’re in the right place. What we’re doing here Inside this community, you’ll see: - 365 – A Year To Live: A year-long journey into living fully by facing our mortality, one breath at a time. - Live virtual gatherings & fireside chats. Real-time conversations where we share stories, questions, fears, and aha moments. - Short, practical workshops, especially around advance care planning: medical/financial powers of attorney, end-of-life wishes, and how to actually talk to the people you love. - Prompts, reflections, and shared resources. Small sparks to help you re-center on the day's life feels heavy—or beautifully fragile. - Some of you are here for the paperwork. Some of you are here for the soul work. Most of us will discover we need both. How to jump in today (not “someday”) Lurking is normal. Staying stuck there is optional. If you’re reading this, choose one action—today: 1. Introduce yourself. In the comments below, tell us: 2. Answer a gentle question. Pick one and answer in the comments: 3. Raise your hand for support. If you’re overwhelmed by planning, grief, or “I don’t even know where to start,” just type: “I’m here, but I’m unsure.”That’s a perfectly honest place to begin. You don’t have to be polished. You don’t have to have your life in order. You just have to be willing to take one small, human step. What you can expect from me (and from us) From me, you can expect: - Clear teaching rooted in 45+ years of walking with people at the end of life - Gentle but direct questions that nudge you out of “I’ll deal with it later.” - Practical guidance on planning (with the reminder: I’m not your lawyer or doctor; I’ll always encourage you to talk with your own professionals)

This is a community for honest, tender conversations about life, death, grief, and legacy. To keep it safe and usable for everyone, we agree to the following: 👉1. Lead with kindness and respect - No harassment, bullying, shaming, or personal attacks. - No hate speech or discrimination of any kind (race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics, age, ability, etc.). - Disagree with ideas, not with people. 👉2. Confidentiality is sacred - What is shared here, stays here. - Do not share someone else’s story, screenshots, or posts outside the community without explicit permission. - Remove identifying details if you’re sharing an example in a teaching context. 👉3. This is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice - Nothing in this community replaces professional medical, legal, financial, or mental health care. - You may share your experience (“What helped me was…”), but do not tell others what they must do. - Do not diagnose, prescribe, or offer step-by-step instructions for treatment, medications, or legal actions. 👉4. Crisis and safety - This community is not a crisis service. - If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about harming themselves or others, contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area right away. - You may say, “I’m having a hard time,” but please avoid graphic details of self-harm, suicide, or violence. 👉5. Speak from your own experience - Use “I” language. Share your own story, beliefs, and questions. - We honor many spiritual, religious, and philosophical perspectives here. - No preaching, converting, or insisting that your belief is the only “right” way. 👉6. Gentle with the details - We talk about death, dying, and grief—but we don’t need gore. - Avoid graphic medical descriptions, violent detail, or anything likely to be traumatizing. - When in doubt, keep it simple and respectful. 👉7. Boundaries, DMs, and emotional labor - Do not pressure other members for 1:1 support, therapy, or “fixing.” - Ask before moving a conversation into private messages. - If you are a professional (therapist, doula, attorney, etc.), do not solicit clients or give individualized professional advice here.