I’ve been thinking about co-regulation again, and one thing feels important to say plainly: We don’t learn self-regulation first. We learn co-regulation first. Literally from birth. When we’re babies, we don’t calm ourselves down.We borrow calm. Someone holds us. Feeds us. Rocks us. Uses their voice, their warmth, their nervous system to help ours settle. That’s not a flaw in the system — that is the system. Self-regulation only develops after repeated experiences of being regulated with someone else. Our nervous systems learn, “Oh, this is what calm feels like. I can come back here.” So when adults struggle to self-soothe, it’s not because they’re bad at coping or not trying hard enough. Often it’s because their system is asking for the same thing it’s always needed first: safe proximity. Which is why co-regulation in real life often looks very unremarkable: – sitting near someone – parallel play – a quiet presence – a shared routine – a “you don’t have to talk” moment – being with someone who doesn’t demand performance Only after that safety settles does self-regulation actually work. Trying to force self-regulation without co-regulation is like telling a baby to “just calm down” without picking them up. Technically possible someday — but not how development actually happens. Very humbling. Very human. Very goose-coded. So I’m curious: How do you notice your body asking for connection before coping?

Still grinning from ear to ear after tonight’s MN Skool IRL pizza party at Pizza Luce! 🍕😂 We talked about everything - paintball, cross-country biking, skateboarding, volunteering and somewhere between the laughter and the pizza, I honestly made some new friends. My heart (and carb levels) are completely full. 💛 Thanks @Jason Fish @Sharon Prahl Julie and Lex for the fun! And thanks @Goose Dunlavey and @Tony Loew for setting the example of behind things off the screen!!! Minnesota is officially on the Skool map, and we’re just getting started. If you’re a Skool leader or community builder, let’s collab! MN’s got its arms (and pizza boxes) wide open. Let’s create some joy together in January and beyond. ✨

So do we register our teams somewhere? How is this being tracked? Just look at the leaderboard? @Goose Dunlavey help?? 😅😭

Now that you have a buddy (hopefully) for the Anti-Blitz Welcome to the shit we are all gonna do together alll december. Which one do you want? & who wants to host which one?

Anti-Blitz time... 1. Tell me what we should be building for you HERE 2. Vote on ur focus on this post 3. Find ur Mother Fucking Buddy in the comments (MFB) by the time were done here u will have NEVER have had a LESS lonely december P.S. HUUUUGE congrats to @Angelika Vetter @Stacy Oros @Gunta Skrastiņa @Ravi Gregory Etherton!!! for winning the November blitz. u bitchez be stylin