Hello, I joined this program about a week ago. I have a dilemma about how to handle my son and still see my new grandbaby, who turned 1 on February 22nd. They came to visit for a few days. Me/ my fiance and the rest of the family live in NC to celebrate my grandbaby birthday. The day after my grandbaby‘s birthday, there was a blowup between my 26-year-old son and his 21-year-old fiancée. My son likes to dictate what he wants to say, but he does not want to hear anything I have to say. He will not accept any praise from me or anything. He has anger issues, and his fiancée is a ticking time bomb. She comes to visit my house with my son and my grandbaby, Eleanor. I do try to break away for short periods of time, but this particular weekend was very difficult. My future daughter in law does not like being here at my fiancé’s and my home. She tried to cause problems with our neighbors the last time she came here. She does not want me to speak to her at all. Anyway, they wanted my fiancé and me to help them move into their new place. My son started calling me mental because my fiancé and I were going to get a hotel. Meanwhile, my son’s fiancée tells me that she hates me. Next, my son says he wants to kill me because he thinks I am causing drama. They said I will no longer be able to see my grandbaby. My dilemma is that my oldest child, who is my 33-year-old daughter, is pregnant. She is having a gender reveal on May 7. My son and family will be coming to my daughter‘s gender reveal. I can very well see how my son‘s fiancée will deliberately pass Eleanor, my grandbaby, all around to various family members except me. Just for spite, because she has done other manipulations in front of me and around my family. My family doesn't see it, but my fiance sees how she covertly manipulates. My family, which is my parents, my daughter, my sister, and my nephews, likes to push things under the rugs and keep them for my fiance and me. They know how my son can be because he has been a total terror for most of his life. How can I approach all these concerns? What do I need to start practicing?

Hello, I was encouraged to write something to the Community section. I'm new and quite nervous to post things so publicly. We live in a small, rural town where gossip can do wonders (in that people care) as well as damage. I don't ever want to say something that makes it harder for our 3 angry children to heal and be open to talking with us again. I also never spend this kind of money on myself and we aren't rich people. We had 8 children. Our 22 year old died of cancer June 4, 2025, one day after our grandson's first birthday and 2 days before my birthday. Meagan was a uniquely positive person that focused on helping others as a 911 dispatcher and friend to so many. She was huge in our community. But her attitude made it easier to accept how God might be working through even this. One of our adult children got mad at us at the funeral and 2 brothers decided to join her in not speaking to us and assuming the worst about us. How can we know what is the problem or explain our perspectives if we can't talk? There is one child in the home and the other 3 adult children all have come to talk with us and understand things, but our angry daughter's home is where "whatever" can happen, so they go there instead of to us. The oldest prefers to stay out of all of it. Our family is so fractured right now, but honestly, we were starting to have some communication issues as they graduated every 2 years (I've been hard of hearing but now have cochlear implants so now can use the phone but struggle to know what to say if I call). I have struggled to accept their choices (living together, drinking, etc), and make small talk and I think that's something I have to work on from MY perspective, not to fix them. Our church, which we've been so committed to for so many years became horrendous when a new pastor determined to clean up membership roles just as our adult children were dealing with their sister dying. My husband as an elder fought against removing the 3 (now mad) children from the roles since they weren't attending there anymore, but IDK if they know that. We told the one who had a child, but the other 2 won't even talk.