@Catherine Hickem - I am going to bare my soul here. I’m truly wondering as I’m moving through the PACT content if this program can address the complex issues within my family. I shared my concern with the onboarding individual I spoke with, and she assured me that it would. Firstly, I am separated from my spouse of 37 years due to a very unhealthy relationship I stayed with for religious reasons and was not able to leave until I was able to address religious trauma and deconstruct. My children experienced a very dysfunctional / unhealthy upbringing due to the religion. My “spouse” is very manipulative with my children, and I was labeled the “bad one” for leaving. Someone had to “stop the insanity” and chaos. I mentioned in the PACT call this evening that my daughter has been married to a Russian orphan for 15 years who has caused significant issues in our family dynamic over the years. We have shown him compassion and grace, and he has done nothing but take advantage of our kindness and patience. HIs own adopted family has not had contact with him for many years due to his behaviors. He has worked very hard to attempt to isolate our daughter from us and has had periods of success in doing so. I very much want to have a healthy relationship with her, and the request from her is “to let the past be the past”. This has been an ongoing pattern as his behavior patterns continue repeatedly, so “the past” consists of 15 years including recent events. He is resistant to treatment, and my daughter has to carry all the responsibilities, as he can’t hold a job and doesn’t work … staying home smoking weed and playing video games. She has stated off and on that she is going to divorce him and doesn’t follow through. She has done therapy and various healing modalities and continues to be manipulated by him. I have been estranged from my oldest son from a teen marriage for over 6 years now. He is an abusive man, and his children have suffered significant trauma. One of his children died due to his negligence. I have no confidence that my relationship with my grandchildren can be restored as he has turned my grandchildren who I once had a very close relationship with against my family.

So lunch today went really well. He treated, and the the entire time we were relaxed together and in good conversation. He is a talker, so I simply listened while working at the things that I know are important - being open minded, not judging, not asking too many questions, respecting the boundaries are the main things on my mind going into today's lunch. He lives not far from me, however I had not seen him for about 8 weeks after he and I had some friction early this year during a time when he had to stay with me for 6 weeks after he sustained a shoulder injury. We bumped heads a little while he was here. When he healed up and went back to his place, I knew (per my daughter) that I needed to give him his space, therefore that is exactly what I did. Growing and learning every day and blessed to be able to work on transforming me. It isn't always easy, but I am committed to the process. Just wanted to do some sharing!