Some people learn to survive by keeping others at arm’s length, looking strong on the outside while quietly fearing the risk of being vulnerable. For many, alcohol becomes the shortcut. It dulls grief and fear while amplifying confidence and charm, creating the illusion of connection without the risk of being seen. But what begins as a coping mechanism eventually becomes a cage, trapping them in a quiet war between the person they pretend to be and the emotions they’ve never allowed themselves to feel. For me, that cage was what I called hell on earth. Fortunately, I found a way out. And for that, I am eternally grateful. It’s why I set an intention every day to calm my busy mind, soften my heart, and be of service whenever I can to those suffering like I once did. I’ll never be able to pay back the people who helped me, but I can pay it forward with an attitude of gratitude. And that is why this community was started.

This incident happened a few months ago. It is very similar to some of the other stories I've shared, but somehow, I have lately been finding the universal relevance in these interactions with my kids. Micah dressed up as a ghost with the intention of scaring me. I chucked and pretended to be scared. He threw the costume down and was legitimately and visibly very angry. I asked him what was wrong. "I have been trying for THREE YEARS to scare you for real! I have been failing over and over again!" This tantrum genuinely concerned me. So, when he took the moment to breathe I asked him, "Why is it so important to you that you scare me, Micah?" "There you go being all wise again, Daddy! Your words and questions don't help me. I am a failure!" With that response I realized I was genuinely frightened. I started asking myself some intimidating questions: How much am I responsible for this insecurity? In what ways might I have role modeled thinking of myself as a failure? Did my son inherit something about me that I was afraid to look at? Is this something 'wisdom' can't really help or fix? For the first time in years, I was genuinely in fear. No anger. No sadness. No shame or guilt. Just genuine fear. "Micah. I want to say something. This is not me trying to be 'wise', but I want to be completely honest with you. At this moment I am really scared. What scares me the most is that you are beating yourself up for my mistakes. It scares me that you are being so hard on yourself because it reminds me of how hard I have been on myself my whole life. It really scares me that at eight years old you are being so rough on yourself. So you have succeeded in scaring me without even trying. No, it's not about being afraid of a ghost or a demon. And, Micah, let's be honest, I am not scared of things like that. You have instead tapped a primal fear in me...that I am failing as a father. Because I love you more than anything. It hurts me to see that you have inherited my habits of being a tyrant to myself."

"Daddy. I learned today that making mistakes is a good thing." I didn't hesitate, "Absolutely it is a good thing. Forgiving yourself for your mistakes is the hard thing." Micah asked, "Why?" This answer didn't come so easily. "If I had to guess, I think it is because when our ancestors made mistakes there were more life and death situations. For many adults too many mistakes means loss of a job or a relationship to someone they care about. Which is almost like life and death." Micah was playing a video game and wanted me to help him. I told him to keep trying even though the video game character "dies" over and over again. He eventually beat the level. "Perfection is the only real 'Big Boss', Micah. Most people still make every moment a life and death situation. They are very hard on themselves for making mistakes. Failure is a friend not an enemy. If you can go through life knowing that then you can help others forgive themselves for making mistakes. You can enjoy 'the game' instead of judging yourself for learning by failing over and over again. The 'game' is as real as you make it. But once the game gets addictive or you begin judging yourself for failing, that is when it is time to stop and remind yourself that the game is not real...and that you have a choice to step away." "I think I'm done playing video games, Daddy. I want to play with play dough now." #DaddyJournal

This is for the ones who’ve always felt on the outside looking in because they see things differently than the majority. They know when something doesn’t feel quite right, and they’ve been called “too sensitive,” “too intense,” “too much.” But caring isn’t a flaw, it’s a gift. They can feel it deep in their bones that something beautiful is unfolding. And they are worthy of it. They may be too spiritual for the cynics. Too skeptical for the religious. But they are someone who sees forgiveness, peace, love, and understanding as the way. This is a place where your beliefs are respected, your questions are welcome, and your humanity is never up for debate. You’re free to believe what’s true for you. And we only have to agree on one thing; to treat each other with kindness. So let’s be clear: Intolerance, hate, or harm in any form don’t belong here. Not even a little. Unsolicited advice is not allowed. Our Creed: You are not broken. You are human. And you are not alone. That’s it. That’s the foundation we stand on. Whatever you believe, wherever you’ve been, however you’ve coped, you are welcome here.

Easier Ways is here to help a person stay sober, trust their own wisdom, and build a life they want without the need to rely upon traditional recovery methods. That said, there is nothing here that will contradict what is found in any support program. At Easier Ways, we know there’s no single path to sobriety. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s exactly how it should be. Therefore, we respect whatever helps someone find their footing. That’s why we’ve taken a deep dive into the different approaches out there and created a resource center to help people explore their options and figure out what fits for them. And even though every method has its own language and focus, all of them rest on a few shared foundations: honesty, open-mindedness, a willingness to start… and as you go, humility and commitment. Then there are a few things that don’t always get talked about, but when you step back and take an objective look, especially through the lens of behavioral science, they start to stand out pretty clearly. 🟢 The thing a person trying to change? It’s almost never the real problem. It’s a symptom, a sign that something deeper is asking for attention. 🟢 Relapse isn’t some kind of personal failure. More often than not, it just means the help the person had didn’t reach the real need underneath. 🟢 Every one of us has core psychological needs. The need to feel safe. To experience variety and adventure. To feel appreciated. To love and be loved. To avoid pain and experience joy. And when those needs aren’t met? We’ll do whatever we can; sometimes in ways that help, sometimes in ways that hurt, to try and meet them. that’s when life can start to feel complicated, and overwhelming. Unsafe. 🟢 Every single one of us runs on patterns; patterns of thought, patterns of behavior. One of the deepest habitual patterns is the feeling that the present moment is not good enough. 🟢 Everyone is capable of change. In fact, we do it all the time. We change our minds, our opinions, our plans. But the trickier part isn’t surface-level change. It’s the deeper stuff, the beliefs we’ve been carrying for years about who we are and how life works. A lot of those beliefs made sense at some point. They helped us feel safe, in control, or at least able to make sense of things. But over time, what once protected us can start to hold us back. The challenge is, we tend to see what we expect to see. Thanks to confirmation bias, we accept the evidence that supports our old story and ignore the stuff that doesn’t fit. Real change starts when we’re willing to get curious about those old beliefs, to ask, “Is this actually helping me now?” And if it’s not, to make room for something new through insight. When we see differently, we live differently.