I actually think you’re making more progress than you realize. The fact that she went from needing to cling to you to standing independently on the platform, is beginning to put her mouth in the water, AND is starting to have fun in the water are all meaningful wins. The hair-washing information would make me curious about sensory processing around her head/face and water. I wouldn’t assume it’s definitely sensory, but I would start there before trying to push swimming progression. With her, I’d temporarily stop measuring progress by traditional swim skills and start measuring comfort, independence, choice and recovery. Can she choose where she sits or stands? Can she splash herself? Can she tolerate wet hands touching her cheeks? Can she pour water on a toy? Can she put water on her own arms, shoulders or hair? Can she watch you do it? Can she initiate putting her mouth near the water rather than being asked? I’d also ask Mom exactly what hair washing looks like at home. Is the problem water touching her head? Running down her face? Getting near her ears? Tilting her head backward? Closing her eyes? The sound of the shower? Not knowing when the water is coming? Those are very different problems and would change how I approach her in the pool. And I would give her as much control as possible. “Do you want the cup or the watering can?” “My head or your head first?” “Three drops or five?” Let her say no and show her that her no is respected. Sometimes knowing she can stop something is what eventually makes a child willing to try it. At six, especially with a communicative child, I’d involve her in solving the problem: “What does your body not like about the water?” She may be able to tell you something we would never figure out by repeatedly practicing the skill. Most importantly, I would not respond to months of slow progress by increasing pressure. If her nervous system is telling her the water isn’t safe yet, forcing the next milestone can make the water feel even less safe.

@Sheila Gidney for All Things Aquatics or for NRPA