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Did I see something about grants to help pay for membership?

I need help. Any Momma's here who have lost an older child? I lost my oldest son 2 years ago to accidental suicide and ever since then I am TERRIFIED something is going to happen to one of my younger sons. Well yesterday my youngest son who still lives at home (19 with severe ADHD, anxiety and depression who was present when my oldest died) was offered a job opportunity in TEXAS! For context we live in Michigan. I do NOT want to be what holds him back but I am so scared for him to go! I know in my mind that I can't protect him from everything but my heart thinks otherwise and I seriously don't think I will survive if I lose another child.

You know the smile you wear so nobody asks questions? That’s the grief mask. It’s the “I’m good” when your chest feels like it’s caving in. It’s showing up, performing, answering texts, going to work, cooking dinner… while a part of you is still standing in the moment your world changed. Grief masks are heavy because they don’t just hide pain from others… they slowly disconnect you from yourself. Most people don’t wear the mask because they’re fake. They wear it because the world is uncomfortable with grief that doesn’t resolve quickly. Because people stop asking. Because life expects you to keep producing, keep parenting, keep functioning, keep being “you” — even when you don’t know who you are anymore. So you learn how to carry conversations while your mind is somewhere else. You learn how to laugh on cue. You learn how to survive inside rooms where nobody realizes you’re silently trying to hold your life together. But here’s what I want you to know… You don’t heal by perfecting the mask. You heal by learning where it came from, what it’s protecting, and how to slowly, safely take it off without falling apart. Grief isn’t something you push through. It’s something you learn to walk with while rebuilding a life that still belongs to you. If you’re exhausted from pretending you’re okay and you’re ready to understand your grief in a way that actually helps you move forward… Go to MasterGrief.com