There are so many times we are performing instead of showing what’s really going on in us. One was to recognize it is when we say we’re “fine” when we aren’t. Here’s an acronym for fine: F-eelings I-nside N-ot E-xpressed Whenever we say we’re fine, it can be helpful to check on ourselves, or our spouse, or our kids, if there are some feelings that need to be expressed.

Couples often wait an average of six years from the time they identify problems in their relationship until they seek help. By then, problems deepen, opposing positions become more entrenched, feelings become deeply hurt, and the task of recovery is much greater. In addition, only 37% of couples who divorced sought any type of counseling or therapy.

A teacher asked his students a question based on this scenario: If you’re walking down the hall, carrying a cup of coffee, someone bumps into you, and you spill the coffee…all over them and yourself, why’d you spill coffee? Every one of the students responded with, “because I got bumped into”. The teacher told them they were all wrong, that the reason they spilled the coffee was because that’s what they had in their cup. If they had water in their cup, they would’ve spilled water. If they had tea in their cup, they would’ve spilled tea. The point of the story is…we are going to get bumped into, especially in our marriages and families! And whatever we’re carrying inside will be what we spill, all over them and ourselves. If you want to know how to make sure what you’re carrying inside is something you actually want to spill on the people closest to you, check out my brand new upcoming course here

We understand and communicate emotionally long before any of us learn a language. Before our kids’ minds understand what we are saying, before their mouths can speak in response, they feel us.

Apologizes by saying sorry... keeps repeating the behavior without changing the pattern... Repentance: I ask for forgiveness when I hurt you, I will work on my reactions and how I treat you in the future... I ask God for forgiveness too and I will do whatever it takes to mend the brokenness in our relationship.... Then it's followed with a complete turn around. I seriously can't handle anymore relationships with fake apologies. If you actually care, you will change... The end.