Yesterday, after much wrangling, I finally found time to sit down and record a new podcast episode without being distracted. I've been planning this episode for a couple of weeks, and I put a lot of thought and effort into creating something helpful. After finishing up, I noticed something rather annoying... I'd forgotten to hit "record". That means for nearly 2 hours I sat at my desk talking to myself about men's shame, with nothing to show for it. A few years ago, this would have ruined my day. I would have raged and ranted, and cursed the universe for being unfair, or cursed myself for being stupid. But I was pleasantly surprised to notice almost no emotional reaction whatsoever. It was like my brain processed the entire thing at super-speed instead of taking hours or days (or weeks): - I immediately accepted that the facts were in, and the past was written in stone. There was nothing to be gained from reviewing any further. - I applied the "drop in" technique and treated this like something another person had handed over to me (so I didn't take it personally or feel committed to previous obligations). - I quickly moved on to drafting realistic next moves based on the Shortest Path decision making (i.e. asking myself, "What's the most efficient reaction to this setback so I can achieve my goal of creating this podcast?") - I automatically reframed this as "practice" to ensure there was no sense of loss Then I remembered, thankfully, that my back-up recording had at least captured the audio, so I found it easy to identify what I could work with, and my brain adapted to this information and arrived at, "Well, I guess this can just be an audio-only podcast this time." Now, the back up recording isn't high quality, so I had to enhance the audio, and my wife will have to work some magic when she does her editing. It's still a hassle. But what I loved about this experience is that I got to skip over the pointless SUFFERING stage that most people go through when things go "wrong". This wallowing in "Why me?!" never provides any benefit, and only delays the necessary next moves that you always have to take anyway.

Most of you don’t need more insight, you need movement. I’m going to share something simple - It’s called the 3X Unstuck Protocol. I use this with coaching clients when they’re stuck. It's a structure for getting unstuck when you’re: - overthinking - overworking - or over-reflecting I turned it into a short practical guide you can download and use immediately. If you use it properly, you’ll take action within 24 hours.I Inside it shows you how to: - identify where you’re actually stuck (most people guess wrong) - force one clear action - stop overcomplicating decisions - stop being busy without progress - extract real lessons so you keep moving It’s basically the operating manual for when you know better but aren’t doing better. Use it once this week and you’ll learn more about yourself than from another 10 podcasts. Comment with the thing you're stuck with right now, and I'll DM you the PDF.

Here we go .. I guess there's no right or wrong here .. Be interesting to see other peoples take :) 1 - Which non-fiction book has had the most powerful positive impact on you in your life? Marcus Aurelius Meditations, (Gregory Hays translation) - Reading this made me realise that all struggles are a human condition not a personal one. Someone over two thousand years ago writing about some of the same stresses and strains that we encounter today, brought home to me how we all basically feel the same thing and are not 'special. 2 - Which person (real or fictional) do you believe is the best role model for living with integrity? I'm ex-military and have used this to great effect as a bench mark and compass progressing through life. As a result of this I have great admiration for some of the bravest and most selfless military characters (real-life ones) that have written and shared their experiences. If i were to pick a single person it would probably be Jocko Willink. Drive , personal discipline, integrity but also a willingness to share and grow others .. very inspirational. 3 - What's the best advice you've ever received?" "Always remain the student and stay humble" - From a teacher and martial arts leader from my past.

There’s a question I want you to sit with for a moment: What if the thing that’s quietly wrecking your performance isn’t laziness, lack of discipline, or motivation… but doing too much? In this week’s video, I unpack something I’ve been noticing for years working with high achievers: people who are intelligent, capable, and outwardly successful often make decisions that actively work against them. Not because they don’t know better. But because they confuse activity with intelligence. From the outside, it looks like productivity. Ambition. Drive.From the inside, it often feels like burnout, frustration, and a constant sense that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough. The video explores the difference between intelligent decision-making and what I call compulsive achievement. One is about long-term quality of life. The other is about short-term relief, validation, and staying busy enough to avoid asking harder questions. A big part of the problem is that many high achievers tie their self-worth to outcomes. Results. Praise. Being seen as competent or impressive. When that happens, decisions stop being guided by values and start being driven by urgency, habit, and discomfort avoidance. You end up solving one problem while creating two more. You stay busy instead of effective. You push harder instead of stepping back. And you keep doing “the next thing” without ever stopping to ask whether it’s actually taking you where you want to go. In the video, I share some concrete examples of how this plays out in real life — in careers, leadership, relationships, health, and even parenting. I also talk about why many people are successful in spite of the way they make decisions, not because of it — and why that success often comes at a much higher cost than necessary. If you’ve ever felt like you’re ticking all the right boxes but still feeling off…If you’re achieving more and enjoying it less…Or if you’ve got a sense that you’re busy, but not aligned… This video will help you see why that’s happening — and why slowing down might actually be the most intelligent move you can make.

Welcome everyone to the Brojo Integrity Army community! Thank you all so much for joining. NEXT STEPS: 1) Please write a post introducing yourself - where you're from, what you're working on, and anything else you want people to know about you. 2) Have a look at the Nice Guy Recovery & Social Confidence course in the Classroom tab. 3) Check out the Membership Upgrade options to unlock the most valuable courses and coaching support. 4) Test out the Virtual Dan Coaching App to get specific support and guidance on your unique goals and issues (you'll be amazed at how much it sounds like Dan). ------ Some group rules to keep in mind: - No solicitation without my approval - do not offer your services or products as posts or private comments to other members - if someone does this, let me know immediately. This will result in a permanent ban. - Keep it respectful and try to help each other out. Disagreement is fine, abuse is not. - This page is exclusively about self-development, so discussions on unrelated topics (e.g. politics) will get deleted. - If anything in this group bothers you for whatever reason, please personally message me and I'll try to sort it out Thanks, and enjoy the community!! Dan