I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to do new things but something always holds me back. I can't think of anything without starting to tremble; I can't be myself without thinking that I'm not myself. I want to do journaling but I feel like my handwriting isn't perfect. I want to learn about finance and other things, but when I look at my notebooks I feel like none of them are perfect. I feel like there's no place, space, or time to do it, and I'm getting more and more suffocated. I want to be a woman of God again, but I can't open the Bible without feeling like a fraud for no longer being the me of the past. I want to talk to God, but the words get stuck in my throat for no reason. I don't know, can I or can't I?I feel afraid if I even pick up a pen. I don't know what I need, I just want to be free.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV): "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” I have had a hard time with forgiveness but this is one thing God revealed to me when I asked him what “Salvation” was? Our Heavenly Father sent his one and only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins when we were just sinners without any mercy but God being so merciful he forgave us first and gives us all a second chance to have a relationship with by accepting him as lord and savior into our hearts. This means you will be born again thru Christ a new creation you invite him in. We no longer live as sinners but our bought by a high price. That’s true love and Jesus invites each one to come to him and follow him.

In another group I’m in, someone asked the question, What sin do you feel like is holding your relationship back with God right now? I answered: I would say busyness! And it’s crazy because I just got out of a worldly relationship that I was in for over three years that always compromised my relationship with God because of sex, me being the only believer, and ultimately not having the same foundation. My boyfriend was a big thing I was putting in front of the Lord, now it’s these new hobbies I’m picking up, and jobs that I want to start…which have been exciting, but I feel like God is trying to to teach me that I need to prioritize my time with Him first. Because I’m not fully healed, constantly am looking into the past, hurting, trying to fill up my time, I have a lot of doubt right now in most things I’m doing. I need God to show me my purpose, but I need to be available for Him first. Welp, sorry for the rant….but yeah!! Why is it so hard to allow ourselves to heal? Pry because it’s painful right? We were just on a mountain and now we’re in a valley again and don’t want to admit it! Well….I saw this amazing quote the other day…”Mountain tops are for views and inspirations, but fruit is grown in valleys.” -Billy Graham Most of us are pry in a valley right now, some way deeper than others. But as a reminder (mostly to myself) 😂, that we need to embrace the valley. Your new self, a better self was never made in comfort. It was made in a valley that you had to CLIMB to get out of! CLIMB IN 2026 FAM! we got this! 🤍🤍🤍

Hi Everyone I’m honored to be part of this community! Excited to sharpen one another in discipleship.

Heavenly Father I come to you and ask you to forgive me from carrying shame from my past mistakes in relationships that didn’t serve me. I break every spirit of Fear in my life that I’m not good enough. Lord take away every bitterness and brokenness within me and turn it around to glorify you! Heal my heart and prepare me for my future spouse. I reject every lie from the enemy that wants to steal my hope and I bind every soul tie from all toxic relationships and every person that was never meant for me. I decree no weapon of distraction, confusion, or misdirection will succeed. I will not settle for anything less than Gods best. Amen