5 struggles Most of my life was self centered, focused on what I can do for myself rather than what I can do for everyone. I never understood why my mom always wanted to just help people for the sake of helping, but 15 years later and I finally get it. I grew up in a trailer park, where most of the kids didn't really like me and my brother as much. We got made fun of alot because we were the chubby kids on the block. Without having a lot of the cool stuff everyone else had, they would try to exclude and chastize us from biking around with them. Growing up I would usually count my eggs before they hatch. This gave me a sense of financial urgency when I was just 13, because that $700 check I was going to use to help buy a new bike turned out to be only $400 so if I wanted that motorcycle from Shucks (remember before O'Reilly's?) I was going to have to work a little harder at saving, than that. I struggle with biting my nails, a bad habit I've developed since a kid. I remember My older brother's friend would be chewing on his nails and I asked him why he does that and he said it was fun way to pass the time and that was the worst fucking thing a person could tell an impressionable kid, contributing to this horrible habit development I still try breaking to this day. My real dad was never there for me, and my rold model was my metal head older brother who painted his nails black and was in a band wanting to be like Marilyn manson. He also would smoke my little brother and me out as kids and have us fight each other til bleeding and crying. 5 contrasting Wins Self - Being self centered, and then coming to know the Lord much better in life as of lately, has given me a great boost in self confidence and drive. My self centeredness has shift to self improving with the ability to show love and take care of other when I'm able, opposed to the kind of selfish I was as a teenager. Thrive - That little boy without many friends (myself) wouldn't know that he is going to make a future for himself out of this feeling of nothingness, coming from the Gold Rush trailer park. Growing up without many actual friends shaped me as a kid to focus more on things like earning money and school, at a young age. It helped me lock in and stay committed to my money and my grades.

Day 1 — Struggles & Wins (get real) 5 Struggles Alienation: Parental alienation majority of my daughters life, even to this day, has had a crippling affect on my state of mind and it constantly gets me enraged, and my ex does it out of spite, to get under my skin using my child as her pawn. Loss: I've lost family members basically every 3 years since I was 13 years old starting with my father. Then my aunt. Then my uncle. Then the worst, my mother. I would lose another loved one without properly grieving completely the last one.. That has been a heavy reason of my deep state of depression up until recently. PTSD: I have a lot of childhood trauma, like seeing my older brother on the ground with a rubber band around his arm, foaming out of the mouth with ems people reviving him on my mom's kitchen floor when I was just 6 or 7. Or seeing my mom get beat up by my dad, in a drunken rage, throwing glass cups at the front door. I recalled this to my mother and she said I was only 9 months old when this incident occurred so you could say it stuck with me. Self doubt: I struggle with self confidence most of my life, always looking for validation amongst my peers while being a heavy set guy, balding at 21, not the best looking. Procrastination aka slow killer: Sometimes the procrastination will take over and I get in these modes where my housekeeping gets away from me, I don't care as much about my job, and I become comfortable just working the day though half assed for a paycheck, pay the bill, eat sleep repeat. I felt a grey foggy shadow on my shoulders for a long time. ______________________________________ 5 Contrasting Wins: 1-A sucker for a good win: ever since I was young I knew that what I wanted was obtainable if I went for it. From job interviews as a kid, to training and fighting in the octagon (1-0). I've always had the burning desire to walk in, own the room and what whatever situation that applies, and leave a badass. So I can look back and say hell yea I did that.

I'm @shreddingthepat on IG, excited to be here and grow with you ladies and gents! I've been on a fat shredding journey for about a year and a half now and I'm trying to build a fitness following on IG. Time for me to learn from you fellow IG tards! Let's get it. Also I'm probably the only one here in Alaska so that's cool. Fitness culture isn't that big up here and I'm trying to put a big dent in changing that!

Joined this program and went 0 to 12.2k followers in 3 months. Over 12 million views on my dashboard. Program really works and I wouldn’t be here without it. Thank you @Daniel Coffeen and @Joseph Farinha and everyone on the team that makes this all happen.