Day 1 HW · AI For R*tards

Day 1 HW

Day 1 — Struggles & Wins (get real)

5 Struggles

Alienation: Parental alienation majority of my daughters life, even to this day, has had a crippling affect on my state of mind and it constantly gets me enraged, and my ex does it out of spite, to get under my skin using my child as her pawn.

Loss: I've lost family members basically every 3 years since I was 13 years old starting with my father. Then my aunt. Then my uncle. Then the worst, my mother. I would lose another loved one without properly grieving completely the last one.. That has been a heavy reason of my deep state of depression up until recently.

PTSD: I have a lot of childhood trauma, like seeing my older brother on the ground with a rubber band around his arm, foaming out of the mouth with ems people reviving him on my mom's kitchen floor when I was just 6 or 7. Or seeing my mom get beat up by my dad, in a drunken rage, throwing glass cups at the front door. I recalled this to my mother and she said I was only 9 months old when this incident occurred so you could say it stuck with me.

Self doubt: I struggle with self confidence most of my life, always looking for validation amongst my peers while being a heavy set guy, balding at 21, not the best looking.

Procrastination aka slow killer: Sometimes the procrastination will take over and I get in these modes where my housekeeping gets away from me, I don't care as much about my job, and I become comfortable just working the day though half assed for a paycheck, pay the bill, eat sleep repeat. I felt a grey foggy shadow on my shoulders for a long time.

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5 Contrasting Wins:

1-A sucker for a good win: ever since I was young I knew that what I wanted was obtainable if I went for it. From job interviews as a kid, to training and fighting in the octagon (1-0). I've always had the burning desire to walk in, own the room and what whatever situation that applies, and leave a badass. So I can look back and say hell yea I did that.

2-Hustle on 100: I always was doing my own thing from selling weed as a teen in high school to now occasionally making $100 an hour as a side job hauling fuel with my own truck, and wrenching out of my garage to help keep people on the road affordably and honestly. (don't tell Uncle Sam)

3-Christ is king: for the longest time I was skeptical, uncertain on my standpoint with God and heaven and the sheer existence UNTIL ONE NIGHT. I was out with someone I thought a friend, drinking a LOT (which first is very much so out of my character I'm a huge stoner. Not much a drinker at all.) That night I got so hammed that I started my truck and tried driving home from the club. I ended up wrecking my mint 94 Jimmy, running it into a street sign driving away, my bumper scraping pavement the whole way back. The worst part, I flew around spinning over the median, into the oncoming lane and proceeded back toward the club direction. (opposite from home) I don't recall any of this really, but my small ass town there was a friend of mine who saw it happened just randomly at the same time I was drunk driving, as he was going through same intersection as me. at 2 am-ish. It wasn't til the next morning I got insight on my blacked out night, and it was his messages asking if I was alright and telling me he just saw me smash a pole and flip the median. I woke up unbattered, safe. I didn't hurt/kill anyone. I didn't wake up in a jail cell. I looked outside and there was my Jimmy smashed front end, bumper half detached on the ground in my driveway. This was a serious wake up call because I almost took myself away from my child. I was not the captain of the ship at all that night and I woke up feeling grateful to be alive! My mom was always super close to God and church, encouraging me and my brothers. And I know she was up there begging him to help spare me in this situation. AND THAT HE DID. Christ is KING.

With that said.. for the better, I've evolved to become a better me and walk closer to God and trying to live in his image, especially as I approach this phase in my life dedicating my all to the dream of bodybulding competitively. I owe it to him. I owe it to myself. And I owe it to my little girl who watched me struggle though all of this, thick and thin. (She doesn't know about drunk driving story yet because her mom would definitely try to put her pry bar on my life with that fact.)

4-Pharrah, my rock: My kid has been my anchor throughout everything, even when I wasn't thoroughly seeing the light of God.. My daughter is why I'm still here today, because in my crazy past of parental alienation that I still battle today, there were some pretty dark times full of consistent lows where I seriously comtemplated just seeing what the afterlife holds. And now I am forever trying to be the biggest, best person she ever has in her life so that when it's time for her to excel, dad provided the blueprint via demonstration the whole time!

5-self realization king: lately more so than ever, my eyes have been opening more to what is really important in life as well as what's holding me back from the important things. I've been dialing it in, making all the right plays to excel with my goals and show my kid that I'm not the piece of shit "deadbeat" her mom has subliminally trained her to believe that I am, since before she could even talk.. (literally telling my kid to call my "uncle" and that I'm just a "sperm donor" and that I'm not her dad, the moms new husband is.) her mom is the queen of Narcism.

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Hooks

I found the cure for the troubles of self doubt, and it's not what you think it is

The cure for troubles isn't self numbing to the situations, it's giving your troubles to God.

Life used to stress me out with all the negative things I've been through. Now it energizes me, and this is why. (I just got a badass reel idea with this and God in mind)👆

Emotion Attempting to Evoke: Relief

(Hook)

Metaphorically, my life was a muddy mess, but I finally hit the paydirt.

(Visual Concept)

Old video/pic of me when I was down in the dumps ( maybe old silly pic of me fat, holding pizza and m16 in both hands, in dirty ass kitchen, transitioning to now newer style me with clean house weighing my whole foods out and taking my supplements, and reading.)

(Voiceocer)

Now I walk around with a clear mind, level headed. Not allowing my self to become distracted from the goals, with self sabotaging

(Visual Concept)

Quick clips of me exercising, more reading/studying, cleaning a part of home vacuuming or dishes, etc.

(Voiceocer)

“so don't be afraid to lean on your inner strength! With God, you will do great things! “

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