Yeh you 'eard me. Had my aerial hoop photoshoot on Saturday, and while I'd hoped to be around 75kg or a bit more if I'd been smashing aerial training and the gym as I'd planned to, my mental health had other ideas. Those who've met me at live events have seen me weighing the dot before the drop. What comes after is my brain telling me food is inedible (it's not an eating disorder I really, really wanted to eat 😂) brought on by extreme anxiety and burnout from swallowing my grief until I'd organised and got through my Dad's funeral. It's going here because, it wasn't my 1st rodeo but I handled this in a way I'm so proud of, and I wanted to share in case it helps someone else. In addition to seeking medical advice... - I saw the signs & told my friends what was about to happen and admitted I needed their help. (I do not ask for help ...this terrified them, but they were AMAZING 🥹) - I used tricks I'd learned previously to get high calorie liquids in (condensed milk is the shizz 🤤) - I got the fuck off of social media until I felt less overwhelmed & was putting on weight. (No thinspiration will come from me) - I maintained the good habits I could, wake up time, gym sessions, creatine, collagen, bed time routine. - I couldn't emotionally eat as a coping mechanism but did you know you can choose to focus on pretty much anything? Healthiest choice yet (Super proud of this one -Korean skincare ask me how!) - I took my time and dealt with this with kindness not frustration. (1st time for everything!) Bad things happen, you can pretend they didn't, or invalidate your feelings by telling yourself someone else has got it worse, but sooner or later you have to sit with them or deal with the consequences of not. So second picture is a quick changing room snap from photoshoot day, not as toned and muscular as I'd hoped but healthy. Physically & mentally. 💪 (Apologies this complexion is made for candlelight and sunsets, not fluorescents!)

So August isn't a great month for me its a reminder of my life bein turned upside down 11years ago now and it doesn't seem to get any easier. I was away last week camping for 4 nights and then a 3 night stay at haven I ate and drank far to much but I constantly felt hungry mayb the sea air who knows but iv put on 4lb this month not been to the gym since July but have still done my Zumba classes each week turns out im also allergic to the sun my face swelled up nicely so made me even uglier then normal then I woke up and saw this site in the morning who puts mirrors at the end of a bed thanks Haven caravans not lol oh well heres to a new month. Sorry its long and the pictures aren't flattering 🐽🐽

Slowly feeling like myself again. Coming off the HRT has really cleared my head and I've found I'm more present with the kids. I've been discharged from the MHC team too, which is a huge positive step forward. I feel more level headed than I have in a while. I've got a long way to go, but feel that I'm going in the right direction and can see the light through the storm. Aim to get back to my fitness journey when the kids return to school on the 7th. I can achieve all my gym sessions on my lunch break without affecting time with the kids. Doing well with nutrition still, and despite this rollercoaster of a journey, I've not put on any weight (I've lost some through the turmoil). It'll be really nice to feel strong again and like a super woman. I can't wait to feel that again. Photos of the last few days below 👇

@Jamie Bigg wishing you a fabulous day/year of being 41! Things can only get better, right!?!

How is everyone doing? Hope you're all ok. It's a little quiet on here these days... @Jamie Bigg sort it out 😄 I know we're all busy balancing everything life throws at us. Thought I would share my progress with you all in hopes it inspires someone a little or gives someone a reminder that we can do this 💪 I have lost more weight and got the composition on track now to where I want to be going forward, overall bio age is down further and my fitness and strength is now something I am proud of 💪 because I know the work I've put in to get here (still work to do obviously as it's a lifelong commitment now 👊 and I'm not where I want to be yet!). But the thing I am most surprised about is how much I love that my veins have started popping 😂 never thought I'd say that 🤣 I've still been working on mobility and flexibility and now added balance into the mix as well. I have set myself new little goals for this as it's always good to have a target in mind. If I don't have a target or a goal I find I get complacent or feel stuck. What new targets/goals have you guys set yourselves?! 🎯