When Nehemiah (comforter) arrived in Jerusalem to rebuild the walls, the first thing he did was survey the walls and assess the problem. In the same way, the work of the Holy Spirit (our Comforter) puts us in touch with our brokenness. Many believers however (in the name of "faith"), refuse to face their problems head-on. They often say things like they are believing God for a miracle and therefore focusing on His Word, not their troubles. Obviously this can be a powerful spiritual strategy once we've seen what the problem is, but too often it is an attempt to avoid the problem. Denial. Anytime we cannot look at our challenges without getting discouraged, we are living in denial, not faith. An example I heard yesterday: a mom received a prophetic word about her daughter being an actress (the best in the world), so her daughter signed up for acting school. Part way through, the mom attempted to get her daughter out of the school (she was afraid the school would take her daughter away from God). Interestingly, the daughter is not at all a good actress, because she struggles to be authentic (and authenticity is necessary to act like someone else). The mom uses the word to avoid true growth in her daughter. Another example: a couple knows they are called to display Jesus and His bride to the world through their marriage, so they hold onto that, declare it, and pray it, but don't actually look at the places of conflict where they are displaying something else. They use the word to avoid true growth. Denial of problems is the fruit of fear, not the root of faith. True faith can evaluate the circumstances honestly without growing hopeless because it can see both the problem and the promise at the same time. It's like going to the doctor but not telling him all the symptoms. If the doctor doesn't know what's really happening, he can't diagnose, nor treat the issues properly. He is disempowered to heal because the patient isn't honest about what's really going on.

How we handle the sin of others influences our own susceptibility to it. Gentleness is protection. Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1

Unsolicited forgiveness usually comes across as an attack, why? Because it’s so easily interpreted as virtue signaling/self-righteousness…by them as “you think you’re better than me”, or from you as “I’ll forgive you even before you acknowledge something wrong was done”. It’s often not the intention, but can much too easily be how it’s interpreted. A better way is to communicate how you felt and let the other person decide what they’ll do with that information, and whether they’ll apologize or acknowledge how they were experienced. And of course, forgive them, but communicating it too soon may cause more trouble, not help the situation.

Giving up the identity built around your pain.