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The De-Escalation Academy

38 members • Free

1 contribution to The De-Escalation Academy
Sex isn’t intimacy. What I realized about emotional safety.
I had an insight today I wanted to share here. Sex is natural and easy. But I’ve started to realize that many couples (mine included) confuse sex with intimacy. We expect that if we’re physically close, we’ll feel emotionally close. But here’s the problem: real intimacy comes from emotional safety. And most of us don’t know how to create that for our partner. Instead, we expect it from them. So each partner sits back, waiting to “feel safe.” Each fight or cold silence is really a cry for safety that never gets answered. I can’t help but wonder if this is one of the root causes of dead bedrooms: sex without emotional validation feels empty, and over time the desire disappears. Has anyone else felt this in their relationship?
2 likes • 25d
A guaranteed way to suffocate intimacy is to trot out the old "physical touch is my love language" line and then use it as leverage to demand sex. That leaves no room for closeness and safety, let alone desire.
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Jeanette Parker
1
3points to level up
@jeanette-parker-8406
I care deeply about creating understanding in difficult situations and value the role calm communication plays in building stronger relationships.

Active 18h ago
Joined Aug 29, 2025
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