@Lilyan Fowler I believe rest is a gift of self-care! Otherwise burnout awaits 😂

@Alistair Hawkes I get free ebooks from my library on my kobo reader and I'm still waiting for the Fourth Wing to become available 😆 I'm on a Regency romance kick (blame Bridgerton) and the last book I read was Earl Crush (Alexandra Vasti). Very fun romp

I can't remember where I had this convo recently (actually, it was Reddit) but being super competent can feed into the cycle. If we had to rely on ourselves and developed some skills (or a lot of skills) very well, needing help and getting quality of help that doesn't meet our high standards feeds the hyperindependence even more. I saw this in myself growing up under hypercritical parents. It really did a number and I still see this at work sometimes!

@Alistair Hawkes It's been good until maybe the last 2 weeks 😅 My hubby's equal in most things but it appears I'm unmatched in assembling flatpack furniture, which had been a need since moving to our new place. He's tried his hand, but whenever we need something completed, it's pretty much been me. I'd almost suspect weaponised incompetence if he hasn't been absolutely frustrated by this; he can be a bit of a bit competitive Aries 😂

Working with mostly (exhausted) mums and children, I feel many mums experience but may not have a name for it. I remember my own first introduction to this concept before entering the mental health field: A friend asked me if I had the "bandwidth" to hear a difficult experience they had. It was a big moment for me to be offered, firstly, (1) choice, and (2) an opportunity to check in with my own capacity. HUGE moment--yet just another one in my journey of discovering how I had rarely been modeled healthy self-care and boundaries--if anything, taking a rest or a moment of enjoyment was seen as selfish instead of the act of replenishing one's cup. (It's a VERY common attitude in East Asian culture.) Frequently with mums on intake sessions, I would check in with how they were doing with their energy levels and stresses; then it would help them understand their own kiddies later when we're actually working with children in sensory/emotional overwhelm. I think the airplane/oxygen mask analogy really comes in useful when teaching self-regulation and co-regulation!

Hi all, love that I found this group! I'm Janet, and since 2024 I've been counseling children, teens, and parents in private practice in Singapore. Since my husband works in the international school circuit though, we've lately moved to Thailand (like, this month!). I'm now officially a digital nomad. I've shifted into teletherapy and seeing my Singaporean clients face-to-face once a month. I may get to try a bit of school counseling this year too, fingers crossed! This is the room I use for in-person sessions.