Instead of saying “I’m stressed”, say “my body is preparing me to rise from this challenge”. This reframes stress into energy, turning cortisol into courage. Instead of saying “I have to do this”, say “I get to do this”. This shifts the brain from pressure to gratitude, increasing motivation. Instead of saying “I’ll try”, say “I commit”. Try signals doubt, commit programs the subconscious for a follow through. Instead of saying “I’m bad at this”, say “I’m still learning this”. Your brain loves growth, and this rewires failure into progress. Instead of saying “I don’t have time”, say “it’s not my priority”. This exposes what you truly value. Instead of saying “that’s just who I am”, say “that’s who I’ve been and who I was, not who I must stay”. Sense of self is flexible, and this creates mental freedom to continue agreeing with who God says you actually are. Instead of saying “this always happens to me”, say “what can I learn from it this time?” This stops victimhood and activates problem solving mode. Instead of saying “I don’t know”, say “I don’t know yet”. Yet brings in a growth mindset, empowering the brain to search for answers. Instead of saying “I’m nervous”, say “the Holy Spirit in me is excited”. The brain cannot tell the difference, you decide the framing. Instead of saying “it’s impossible”, say “it hasn’t been done by me yet”. This opens possibility and dissolves mental barriers. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “how can I do this?” Asking questions activates problem solving circuits. Instead of saying “I failed”, say “I’ve discovered one way it doesn’t work”. This resets failure into data. Instead of saying “I’m stuck”, say “I’m pausing to reset”. This turns paralysis into preparation, reducing anxiety. Instead of saying “they’re lucky”, say “they created opportunities”. This shifts envy into responsibility and empowerment. Instead of saying “I wish”, say “I will”. Wish signals helplessness, will directs action. Instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed”, say “I’m prioritizing”.

After an argument, we make efforts to repair and reconnect with each other. Answering this question and adding comments will help you get to level 5 and be entered to win the $1000 off my upcoming course. The details are here!!

What would you say is your current predominant emotion within your family?

Emotional intelligence has been mainstream since the book with the same title became such a huge success. But are we going for intelligence alone? To know about emotions? To have information about them? To be intelligent about emotions? What if, because emotions are an experience, intelligence, or what we know about them, need to be experienced as well. What if we also need to develop emotional skills, not just intelligence? Skills only develop through experience. You try, mess up, reflect, adjust, try, get better, reflect, adjust, etc. What if emotional intelligence alone is similar to what the spirit of religion facilitates: “Always learning but never coming to the (experiential) knowledge of the truth”. You have the language, you know about them, you can give others advice, but aren’t demonstrating them on a regular basis. This is a concern I have. That many have some emotional intelligence but not the developed skills that it encourages. Religion is not just in church, it attempts to pervade every area of life. Let’s make sure we aren’t religious in how we operate in the emotional space.

The struggles and pain that show up in us today didn’t start today. Or when we got married. Or when we had kids. They also didn’t start with us. Many of them were passed down/taught us a long time ago. Going deeply into and through our upbringings is a major part of changing that. Healing and letting go of the emotions that were passed down to us begins the process of dealing healthily with what’s actually happening in the present. And starting Sept 1 we will begin our next 4 month course, where this will be part of what we do. You guys here are the first to know about the upcoming course, and all the info is here: https://www.spiritledfamilies.world/products/the-emotionally-whole-family-6-month-course