Here’s the thing, I believe I have already shared the unfortunate fact, some fourteen years ago I had both my adult children staying with me in London. Their estranged divorced father, they both lived with their mother down in Devon but circumstances brought them together at my place. I’d only recently found out that both of them at the time were addicts. And typically after theft of money, there was a violent altercation that occurred which ended up with my eye being gouged and my son’s jaw being broken. Crazy stuff, that has impacted all our lives. This kind of sordid drama doesn’t happen to professional coaches, does it? I mean this kitchen sink drama only happens to gurriers, right! The downside being I lost my ‘mojo’ and consequently my coaching practice. Nevertheless, even with the loss of dignity and an eye, I still love my children. But, the truth remains the same, and my daughter is in complete denial and determined to rewrite history. She never was addicted to heroin, subutex isn’t a substitute drug, and stealing isn’t stealing when it’s from your owner parents? It got me thinking, could this be the universe telling me something, my niche might not be ‘trauma resilience’ but rather Relationship Coaching, after all I’ve won my stripes. Either way I was up for Ed’s C.O.A to refresh my knowledge. But ‘total disbelief’ flared up this morning, following my daughter’s email just before my 10am Growth Plan with Tina. And a thousand apologies for using this platform to hold up my personal case study. I was in pain, and hurting, sharing amongst kindred spirits, who I believe have similar goals seemed the ideal soapbox, Namaste.🙏 As I drift into shadows.

Thank your so much Stephenie, In fact, I have been trying to meet my daughter where she is, but it’s really difficult because she’s in total denial. And I appear to her, as a reminder whether I like it or not, of her past. As already mentioned, in an altercation she gouged my eye out and blinded wme, the evidence is there whenever she sees me. Her way of dealing with it is to rewrite history, blaming and accusing me of lying! And most hurtful of ALL the accusation of not loving her? I know she didn’t mean to, she wasn’t her self at the time, and it’s taken a lot of work on myself to forgive her and my son for the attack I suffered in my own home. Drug addiction has no morals or boundaries, when under the influence the addict has one aim to get the money for the next fix. That means love ones are fair game, unfortunately. But the good news is, both my son & daughter are clean, and my son is on his personal growth road. Reluctantly, I have chosen to honour my daughter’s request and back off, I appreciate you can’t argue with madness, which her words would indicate is at play here. I love her deeply, and forgive her. And I will welcome her with open arms, when she’s all together and settled. I believe, she’s done the hard work, and now it’s time to accept the fact that there was a past that wasn’t pretty, but she’s moved on from it, this is the healthy compromise, not denial. 💜

6 Ed JC Smith 6h • General discussion What you really get out of holding on… This might not sound popular… And some might say it’s a little harsh… But the reality is, when you find it hard to let go of something that happened in the past, it’s usually because you’re getting something out of it in the present. This is especially true in relationships. Holding on to a “victim story” can give you attention, compassion, sympathy, even entitlement or self-righteousness. And while those things may feel comforting, they also keep you from the love and joy you really want. The truth is, you can’t step fully into freedom and lasting connection while still clinging to the old story. At some point, you have to decide what matters more… Do you want to keep the comfort of the familiar? Or do you want to open yourself to the happiness waiting on the other side? When you let go, you stop surviving your story and start living your life. So let me ask you, what story might you be ready to release?

Hmmm, why am I still letting the past run my future? When I should know better… What story might I be willing to release; “I’m not good enough… Even with a drawer of qualifications, Coaches don’t allow/live kitchen sink drama’s, do they?” 💜