It's like flipping a switch. Suddenly, I am self aware. I am the mind turning back on itself. I have the ability to notice "I am thinking, I am feeling, I am choosing." It's like becoming lucid in a dream. It's hard to capture; We are all eventually sucked back into the hazy abyss of our subconscious. At least we have these moments of clarity.

Shadow work is a psychological and spiritual practice based on the concepts introduced by Carl Jung, focusing on the "shadow self"—the parts of our personality that we have rejected, repressed, or deemed unacceptable. These traits often include "darker" emotions like anger, jealousy, or shame, but can also involve positive qualities like creativity or power that were discouraged in childhood. By bringing these hidden aspects into conscious awareness through journaling, meditation, or therapy, you can integrate them into your whole self. This process aims to reduce self-sabotage, improve emotional regulation, and lead to a more authentic and balanced life.

I wish a god, any god, would show themselves to me. At least then I'd have an idea about what sort of structure our reality consists of. I flail in the dark, trying all sorts of different belief systems. I like asking myself; what if? What if this idea from this religion were true. Lately, I've been exploring Gnosticism. I don't know if the monad exists, but I ask myself what if it did. I live a couple weeks as a gnostic and it feels more right to me than any mainstream religion has so far. I remember perfection, It may be an ideal. Something I hope is true but maybe not what is. I think; that's what faith is. You should believe whatever makes you happy because ultimately nothing can vindicate those beliefs, other than, maybe, death. Even then, who knows. If you found I used too many commas please comment below.

If you haven't had lucid dreams before, I suggest you start trying to. They are very cool! I prepare question I want to ask dream entities and if I become lucid, I'll ask them. I have learned a lot. Sometimes when I'm asking dream entities questions, others will get annoyed and try to shut it down, like they are teachers at a kindergarten wrangling us lucid humans away from the "adults", which is annoying, I'm just curious. 🙃 I still don't understand the reality we escape to when we are dreaming but I think, when we dream, we see things through a filter, one that colors what we perceive in a way we can relate. It may all be in our heads, dreams. But sometimes I feel like I actually meet other beings, a demon from the solomonic grimoires, Neuma from ancient Greece, I met a person named Belosh who lived a few hundred years ago and whose family died in a fire. I learned how to, I guess, channel or call to him and sometimes he'd visit. I mention him in particular because I tried to research him. I didn't find any information on him, but I found someone else who posted about meeting the same person and knew the same details. So, for me, there is something there, in dreams.

Auditory dreams—where you hear voices, music, or distinct sounds rather than just seeing images—often signal a heightened state of intuitive processing or "clear hearing" (clairaudience). These dreams typically occur when the conscious mind is quiet, allowing your subconscious to deliver messages in a direct, verbal format that is harder to misinterpret than visual symbols. Psychologically, they can represent an internal breakthrough where you are finally "hearing" a truth you’ve been ignoring, while spiritually, they are often viewed as a form of direct communication from the higher self or spirit guides.