What with being 50% Happy & 50% Sad at BEST, even during the BEST of times, I am going to quietly set down my suitcase 🧳 filled with the 50% Sadness and leave it right here in this safe space…..just for today, if I may….to take refuge from it’s wrath, for just one day, this day, March 31st. Today is special, and my intention is to go forth, like that of half-pair of scissors, with my remaining suitcase 🧳 filled with a pure & untainted 50% Happiness because my daughter, Moon 🌙 was born on this day, 19 years ago! And at this very time!!! OMG she was born at 1:32am and that’s right now!! 😮 Wow, I guess that’s how I know I’m supposed to share this with you guys. Ha! She’s turning 19, has her learner’s permit and hopes to have her full-on driver’s license in time to drive us both to the retreat in CT. 🤞 She has taken her time with getting her license, and for good reason: She had emergency heart surgery in Oct. ‘24, then her mother died of a heart attack the very next month in November, then right before Christmas her girlfriend (first love, big deal) went from kind to cruel and broke up with her (worst possible timing). Anybody else love the holidays? With being adopted at birth and homeschooled still to this day (taking her first college class at Valencia College in the Fall), Moon🌙 has become, and continues to become a beautiful & unique soul. She bought a new car today, and the whole dealership loved her, I mean they loved her! Here’s a photo with her salesperson before we left, giving her flowers & much needed hugs. Today, for her birthday, she has requested 3 things: #1. To go to breakfast at First Watch brunch restaurant, #2. To go to a piercing studio for an additional ear piercing and a belly button piercing (she’s already made herself an appointment for 3:00pm) 😳, #3. Lastly, she wants to go to Hooter’s before all of their locations close!!! (they are going out of business and she said this is her last opportunity to ever know what Hooter’s was like), so I said “OK”! 👍😆 I promise, I will be back to pick up my other suitcase 🧳. Thank you for literally letting me park my sadness here, just for a while, and I hope you can share in my happiness, joy and sheer delight in celebration of 19 years basking in the warm glow of 🌙.

This is the name of the latest album 💿 by up-and-coming UK musical artist, RAYE. The name of the song in this link is called Click Clack Symphony and her lyrics somehow represent a personal letter from me to all who are in this sacred community of loving souls. I hope you find hope in her words. https://youtu.be/-ZoZKxh_U6Q?si=fhbx9hz7sZ6jm0b3

I don’t know if I’m numb or more not caring anymore that I’ve lost too many people in the last couple years. My two major loses are my mom 09/16/22 and just recently my grandmother 01/21/26. But also I’ve lost 2 aunts, and a few other family members. I can’t seem to accept that my grandma is no longer here, and because I’m struggling with that, I feel I haven’t been able to grieve for a cousin I lost that same day. This morning I found out another relative passed away last night, and it’s like I feel nothing. Trying to accept the losses while also dealing with my mental health has me feeling lost, confused and so exhausted with life.

1. Let yourself feel it without trying to fix it.Nighttime is when everything gets quiet, and all the feelings you pushed away during the day show up. You don’t always need to solve it. Sometimes you just need to sit there and admit… this hurts, I miss them, and tonight feels heavy. 2. Put something on in the background.Silence can make grief louder. A TV show, music, a podcast, even noise in another room can help your nervous system settle. It doesn’t mean you’re avoiding your grief. It just means you’re giving your mind a break. 3. Reach for connection, even if it’s small.Text someone. Go into an online group. Read something that reminds you you’re not the only person in the world feeling this way. Loneliness in grief isn’t just about missing them… it’s about feeling like no one understands. Connection helps with that. Nights can feel like the hardest part of grief. Not because you’re weak… but because there’s nothing left to distract you from what your heart knows is missing.

Describe your Grief in One Word