Task Week 6: Writing a New Story This week has been a turning point in my healing journey, as I've come to understand the deeper psychological reasons for my relationship patterns. The tools and reflections I’ve worked with have tied all the previous threads together into a cohesive narrative of my own transformation. My Patterns and the Lies of Childhood I started with an attachment style assessment, where my answers pointed to a Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) attachment style. This confirmed the deep-seated conflict I've felt: an intense desire for closeness, combined with an equally intense fear of rejection. I now understand that this pattern is not just an unfortunate trait, but a direct consequence of the early traumas I experienced. As Dr. Gabor Maté says, "Children are excellent observers, but poor interpreters." This phrase resonated deeply with me. It helped me understand that while my anger toward my parents was real, my childhood interpretation of their behavior may have been distorted. I may have blamed them for my pain as a survival mechanism that protected my fragile self-image. The story I told myself was that "I was a victim," and that "it was their fault," because that was the only logic my nervous system could understand. This insight perfectly aligns with my reflection on having a deep fear of being a "burden" or making "unreasonable demands" just by being vulnerable. I have realized that the safest path was to agree with people or avoid conflicts entirely, which is known as the "fawn" response (to please others). My reaction to feeling invalidated is to become unsure of myself, which causes me to shut down and disconnect from others. My Truth Statement This week, I've taken the crucial step of letting go of this blame, not to excuse others' behavior, but to free myself. By formulating my truth statement to myself, I've acknowledged the lies I've told myself and taken radical ownership of my own healing. I have lied... - ...about being a burden to others if I express my feelings and needs. - ...by saying it was safer for me to agree with people to avoid hurting them and escalating conflicts.

A Journey to Authenticity: Overview of My Process The journey began with a search for a deeper understanding of how unresolved childhood trauma has affected my communication and personal ownership. Through a series of self-assessments in the first few weeks, the emotional patterns in my communication with my parents came to the surface. This uncovered a past filled with conflict and a deep feeling that I had taken on the role of a victim. The biggest change started in Week 4, where my ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score gave me a validation of my past. This insight explained why my nervous system is in a permanent state of hyper-vigilance. It also became clear how, under stress, I react instinctively with a "fight" response and have difficulty using tools like "STOP. DROP. ROLL." That week also introduced Transactional Analysis, which gave me a language to understand the roles I take on in conflicts. In Week 5, the focus shifted to the fundamental wound that arises in relationships. An emotional safety assessment revealed a paradox: although I generally build strong bonds, I still struggle to repair conflicts. This is where the understanding of invalidation came into the picture, which explained why my feelings feel "too much." That week introduced the S.A.F.E.™ framework as an antidote to invalidation, giving me a concrete tool to validate myself and others. Week 6 became a time of deep integration. An assessment of my conflict style revealed an internal conflict between my desire to be collaborative and a tendency to be either confrontational or avoidant. A crucial insight came from an assessment of my Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) attachment style. It became clear that this conflict is the result of both a craving for intimacy and a fear of being hurt. An important realization this week was that I have a tendency to avoid conflicts by "agreeing with people" — a pattern known as the "fawn" response. An understanding that "children are excellent observers, but poor interpreters" has helped me reframe my perspective on my past so I can let go of blame.

clarified… the opportunity to make conscious choices in accordance with the desires and goals one has in life

@Ed JC Smith What is one thing you are ready to let go of? I am ready to let go of the fear of being seen as "too much" or "too sensitive." I now understand that this fear has caused me to hide parts of myself, avoid conflicts, and minimize my own feelings and needs. I am ready to let go of the belief that my truth is a burden to others. I have realized that I have lived with a number of lies to protect myself, and by letting them go, I can step into a more authentic version of myself. Here is my truth statement: I have lied... - ...about being a burden to others if I express my feelings and needs. - ...by saying that it was safer for me to agree with others to avoid hurting them and escalating conflicts. The truth is... - ...that my feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard. I am not a burden just because I am vulnerable. - ...that my people-pleasing behavior stems from a deep fear of rejection and of being hurt, a fear I learned in my childhood, and which I have used to protect myself. The cost of that lie is... - ...that I have felt insecure, unseen, and invalidated, because I hid my true self in my relationships. - ...that I have repeated unhealthy patterns where I have avoided honest communication, which has prevented me from building genuine intimacy. By letting go of these beliefs, I can build connections based on honesty and mutual respect, rather than on a need to please and avoid conflict.

@Giselle Ruoss thank you and welcome to you to 🌟

@Tommy Watts Hello and welcom to you to, 💪🤩