I'm biased, but I think it would help to have some guys who are years/decades away from their divorce who can really see what's coming for you. Hell, 5 yrs out, I was just realizing I was addicted to alcohol (that addiction came 100% from divorce trauma, never rly cared to drink before). I didn't cure my trauma until a decade after when I discovered the miracle of EMDR, which I wish everyone on this planet should do multiple times, it works so well. Another characteristic I think we should go for is not one of "how do I get my next relationship." Maybe it's because I'm 50, but I never heard a man say those words until around 2005. Men should go rogue and go through at least a dozen fwbs before even thinking about going exclusive. YOU NEED TO BE TIRED OF NEW PUSSY (it happens when you go hard enough) before even considering going exclusive. The good news there is that even at my age, banging single moms in their early 30s is child's play.

@Justin Mills currently getting my ass kicked in the gym after many years away. The new tech w/ peptides (like the glp1s for weight loss) have demonstrated great results for growth and recovery that we didn't have back in the day. They just had nasty growth hormones back then which wrecked your body. Never touched them. This new stuff that works w/ your natural processes is promising.

if you have a bachelors, you can take a course on teaching english...you'll have to look it up, but there are 2 companies that do it and one is way more popular, and you can get sponsored for jobs. Every guy with experience in Asia say how good of a time you have living there (not vacationing but living) hinges on your ability to speak the language. Above all else, if you want to piss off a white woman--any white woman, go to Asia as a white man. My understanding tho is that the overall situation in the Philopenas is slightly better, with Thailand second. Also, English is an official language there.

@Justin Mills fwiw, if you want to see about foreign countries, Mexico ranks higher on the "foreign" scale (unless you know spanish) than Japan or the Philippines, and it's right there. Still, nothing is going to prepare you for that transition from touristing to living. As always, surround yourself with good people who are well-regarded in their communities and let them teach you the ropes. Or hell, nothing wrong w/ just living in the expat neighborhoods, except it's more expensive and the women won't be the best.

you might need an emergency injunction

I learned that you can't make people do the right thing, even if it's in their interest. You can't control people. You can't make them do the right thing, and you can't even make them stop hurting themselves. I learned the depth of betrayal with my own parents buddied up to an ex who'd tried to get me to off myself just for access to the grandchildren. I learned that your entire identity (mine was as a husband and father) can be murdered, but you still live as a hollowed-out ghost. I learned that being emotionally shattered and going rogue is a serious panty-dropper, and eventually I learned there was such a thing as "too many girls." I learned that money is power, and money is justice. My parents now basically grovel to me because I've done well in the last 15 yrs and I'm their safety-net. When you're not useful--this includes everyone, including parents--to someone, you may as well be dead to them. I had one friend send me a little money when I was living in my car to get a room. One. No one else would pick up the phone. 6 yrs after the fall, living in my car, starting a tech company on public library computers, my mom posts a pic of my birthday party on my company's boat, and people reappear in my life, oddly enough. All of them. Every. Single. One is from now on kept at arms length, especially my parents. I learned that sometimes, spite is the only reason to live, and that anger at the proper targets is good for a man. But the most profound thing I learned by a long shot is that I am capable of a miracle. I can be thrown to the wolves and left for dead, and come back with more drive, wealth, pussy, and purpose than I had before. That gives me an immense sense of freedom. my industry could crash, and I could be sued into oblivion, but all I need is the shirt on my back and what's in my head to succeed. For all the trappings and people we surround ourselves with, I can walk away from it all and do it again whenever and wherever I please.

@Justin Mills nothing makes ppl who've "settled" more uncomfortable than someone striving for personal greatness.

it's normal to use others as a sounding board to shape our identity. It protects social creatures from going too far off the rails. We've all seen depictions of the odd hermit w/ the odd ways--that's because they've been without the sounding board of others to keep them within the lines of "normal" behavior. My advice is to not give a shit how others see you for a time. People want to see you fail--it's not their fault, they can't help it. They want you to be normal, but look around, are "normal" people happy and successful? You gotta color outside the lines a bit to find your happiness. it's why einstein never brushed his hair and why elon didn't become timid after getting the crap beaten out of him every day at school in S. Africa. That man's 2 biggest heroes--his biggest sources of inspiration--testified before congress under oath that he was a failure and would never launch reliable rockets. If he gave one scintilla of a fuck for one second, nobody would know his name in 2026.