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Kettle & Candle
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6 contributions to Kettle & Candle
Sep 19 •
Life/Death and Guilt
Life has honestly kicking my butt for the last couple of years and I’m working on being okay. In July my hubby got sick and we spent most of July in the hospital. There was a moment in his hallucinations that he was speaking to the lady in the corner of room. His vitals dropped after he told me about the woman in the corner. The room was swarmed by doctors and nurses and he was stabilized. It was the first time I ever thought of what my life would be without him. Later, while still in the hospital he told me he had a dream that his Grandma Skarda came to him in his dreams. He told me Grandma told him that it wasn’t his time yet. He’s home now and doing a bit better thank God. He started walking without a walker a few weeks ago. During his at home recovery I received a phone call his step sister that his mom was sick and we might want to head that way. The family is very estranged and the steps are causing all sorts of problems. Tom’s mom was the queen bee of narcissists and threw people away like you’d throw away leftovers after a few weeks. She died when Tom and my 6 year old grandson were with her. I thank God for that. When I got to the room Tom was just sitting in a chair repeatedly saying “I never really knew my mom.” It broke my heart to her him say that. Her birthday was a few days ago and Tom’s was yesterday. I feel guilty bc I was excited that I didn’t have to dread the phone ringing anymore. That I am actually relieved that she has passed. I’m learning more and more that you can really love someone from a distance. That realization has been gut wrenching for me bc my family is so close. Am I a bad person for not really mourning Tom’s mom?
2 likes • 29d
I am sorry for all you and your family is going through. I am pondering what Jim and Pam said, and I believe it is part of the truth. I also believe that we don't entirely choose if/how we mourn, but rather the relationship greatly dictates the mourning. I see it more as you are not choosing not to mourn her, as much as she did not share a relationship with you that her absence left something to be mourned. Would you mourn the splinter or the pain it caused you, after you removed it from your heel? You likely feel bad, because we are conditioned that we are "supposed" to mourn, because she was "family". Let go of the guilt. Your feeling are YOUR feelings; they are not wrong, and no person or social convention gets to dictate otherwise.
Aug 10 •
Foundations ?'s
Is anyone using their Foundations paperwork? If so, are you having any luck editing it?
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Aug 8 •
Reflection on reality
What would you do if you found out that everything you think you know wasn’t correct? Would you fight your new reality? Would you be afraid? Would you approach it as an opportunity to change and grow?
2 likes • Aug 8
I have always had the senses of a dog...I can tell whether I like you or not just by looking at you. I can smell the BS as it drips from someone's mouth. As someone who is continually called judgmental, conspiracy theorist, etc., only to be proved right time and time again, I'm not sure how to answer that, but I would like to think I would adjust.
1 like • Jun 28
Enter the church to Best Day of My Life and Stayin' Alive, after the prayer All I Need is a Miracle, after eulogy, Circle of Life, and exit to Hit the Road Jack.
Jun 24 •
Questions for you folks...
❓Have we gotten the final draft on the paperwork, or is there another draft coming? ❓❓Do any of you have an active/working business? Do you have a website you would like to share?
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@cookie-kilian-1650
I am a nurse, manual therapist, death doula specializing in end-of-life planning. Cade, my partner in crime, is a therapy/service dog.
Active 4h ago
Joined Jun 18, 2026
Duluth, MN
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