The Moment I Almost Walked Away From My Own Business…
Yesterday I had a conversation that cracked something open. Not the kind of business conversation about strategy or content or marketing. A real one. The kind that makes you stop hiding from yourself. And if I’m honest… I almost didn’t want to have it. Because the truth sitting underneath everything was uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. When I was asked what was going on with my fire for my business, the first thing that came out of my mouth surprised even me. I said: “I miss how it was before… when there was more engagement.” I miss when people were talking inside the space. When they were connecting with each other. Even if it wasn’t a lot… it still felt good. It felt alive. And then the next truth landed. “I know it’s kind of my fault… because I pulled back. I’ve been inconsistent.” That was the part I didn’t want to say out loud. But it was true. And when I was asked what was underneath that… The word came immediately. Worthiness. “Am I worthy to be the one who holds this space?” Am I worthy to create something that other people step into? And right behind that was another truth. Fear of rejection. A pattern that has been running my life for a very long time. If I’m honest… it’s been my operating mode since I was about 10 or 11 years old. So we’re talking about something that has been wired into me for over 30 years. When that fear shows up… My instinct is to hide. To pull back. To disappear into the cave. Because hiding feels safer than risking rejection. Then I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks. “If someone you cared about told you this about their business… what would you say to them?” And suddenly the answer was obvious… I would tell them they don’t have to carry everything alone. I would tell them they’re a beautiful person inside. I would tell them they deserve support. Funny how easily we can say those things to someone else… And how hard they are to believe for ourselves. The deeper truth that came out in that conversation was this: