We like to think communication is pretty straightforward: I think something → I say it → you hear it → you understand it. Boom! What more is there? But when we really break it down, there are a LOT of places where things can get lost along the way. First, there's what we're actually thinking or feeling. Sometimes we may not even have a clear understanding of that ourselves. Then there's what we 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗗 to communicate. We might know what we mean in our heads, but translating that into actual words can be a whole different thing. Then there's what actually comes out of our mouths.😖 Sometimes what comes out isn't exactly what was in our heads. 😂 Maybe we didn't find the right words. Maybe we left something out. Maybe our tones communicated something we didn't intend. Then there's what the other person hears: And 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁. What someone hears is going to be filtered through their own experiences, assumptions, emotions, expectations, etc. Then there's what they think they heard, followed by what they think it means. So we can end up with something like: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 → 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 → 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘆 → 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿 → 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 → 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻. That's a LOT of opportunities for the original message to get a little altered, lost in translation, misaligned from its original intent. A lot of opportunities for potential conflict or opportunity to clarify and gain better understanding. And that's not even accounting for things like tone, facial expressions, timing, texting vs. talking in person, someone's mood that day, types of communication (e.g. literal, abstract) or whatever else is happening in the background. So...this makes me think that sometimes when we're arguing, we're likely not even actually arguing about what the other person said! We're arguing about what WE THINK they said. So... the following statements become even more valuable as a result: Sender: “That's not what I meant. Let me try saying that differently.”

Happy September, Inspired and Empowered Fam! :) I don't create short posts too often, but I figured I'd like to do a check in and see how you're all doing and see what's something that you'd like to focus on this month. :) What's something that I can follow up with you guys at the end of the month? 𝗔𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿: - 1.Which area feels most energized right now? How can I continue nurturing it? - 2.Which area feels neglected? What might it need from me? - 3.Is there an area I keep saying I want to prioritize but rarely give my time or energy to? - 4.Which area, if improved even slightly, might have a positive ripple effect on the rest of my life? - 5. Where am I doing things because I genuinely value them and where am I operating from “should”? - 6.What do I want to experience more of this September? - 7.What do I want to intentionally make space for? POLL: Which area would benefit from some love, attention and intention?

🌍 Are You Ready to Help Create a More Trauma-Informed World? Thank you @Georgiana D for helping us celebrate our special day! Today is The Skool Trauma Hub’s 1st Birthday 🎉💚 and there couldn’t be a better time to join our growing global family. At The Skool Trauma Hub, we believe the missing piece in trauma recovery is safe community. Trauma is at the heart of everything we do, but creating a more trauma-informed world means looking at the bigger picture. 💜 A safe, supportive community for personal trauma healing 💛 Trauma-informed parenting support for parents and carers raising trauma-impacted children 💙 Support for those supporting others - therapists, counsellors, coaches and other trauma professionals Because trauma doesn’t exist in isolation, and neither should healing. We heal when we come together. 🎂 And because it’s our birthday, for TODAY ONLY we’ve slashed our membership prices, making this a wonderful time to come and see what we’re building. Plus you get a 7 day free trial! Whether you’re healing from trauma, supporting a trauma-impacted child, supporting others professionally - or you wear more than one of those hats - there’s a place for you here. 🌍 Come and join our mission. 💚 Come and join our family. Together, we can help create a more trauma-informed world. Sending love and healing to you all, Chris 💚 The Skool Trauma Hub

I’ve been a little quiet in here lately as I’ve been busy building behind the scenes, but I wanted to pop back in, say hi and see how everyone is doing? I haven’t forgotten about this great community! It’s lovely to reconnect. 💚

I went to catch myself a sunrise yesterday morning. On my way to 'the spot', I noticed a soccer ball sitting alone in the field--there were no people in sight (likely because it was 5:30a.m., ha!). But looking at this ball got me thinking about how we lose things or how we can be 'left behind'. Made me think about how sometimes we fumble things or we are fumbled and through negligence, distraction or to being caught in the crossfire of someone else's stuff (or them being caught in the crossfire of our own stuff) we end up losing things. Sometimes we can recover them but sometimes not. And...Sometimes those things are more important than soccer balls. Funny enough, on my way back from this walk, there were four men that were gently kicking the ball around as they were walking... Perhaps they will also leave the ball behind for different reasons, but it was also a reminder of how being fumbled doesn't have to be the end of the story. --------- Most of us don't lose important relationships because we wake up one day and decide they don't matter. More often, they fade through distraction, neglect, competing priorities, stress, assumptions, or simply the busyness of life. Sometimes it's related to wounds that they/we haven't tended to and we/they end up as collateral damage in something that doesn't even have to do with us/them. We become consumed with our own struggles or focused on someone else's, and before we realize it, something valuable has been left behind. 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐬. Like muscles, they strengthen through (healthy) use and weaken through disuse or misuse. There are things that keep relationships alive: healthy attention, responsiveness, shared experiences, shared values and visions, shared rhythm of life... Without those, emotional distance can emerge. It's not necessarily through malice (usually it's not), but through impermanence. 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.People change (or, more likely, their focus is more likely to change). Circumstances change. Roles change. What felt effortless at one stage of life may require intention at another (think kids-when a couple could just effortlessly spend time together, now they have to be very intentional about that time).