All these divorces are difficult, but man, some of y’all’s stories are horrific. If you ever want to vent on someone, hit me up. I lost much of my community as well.

Assume everything is a scam first.

Geez dude, that’s sick. Praying for you and the youngins.

4 months in to the separation and near divorce. Learning to be alone without unhealthy distraction. I’ve always chosen distraction. I’m getting there though.

@Justin Mills Here comes the whole answer. My father died when I was 10 and he WAS my identity at that point in my life. I had the best Mom ever, but I could never identify with her the way I did my Dad. I’m the absence of an identity I developed something called fantasy prone personality, and I would fantasize often even into young adulthood. As I grew the fantasies were replaced with scenarios, possible outcomes, etc. but the pattern remained and has lead me to being an avoidant personality in my life and used to constant mental stimulation. “Responsible” amounts of alcohol and marijuana also fueled the avoidance. What this divorce has taught me is that I’ve basically become an avatar to my own life. It seems the only time I’ve ever been truly present to my life is when I’m with my 4yo son and that has its challenges as well. I’ve been drinking some lately, typically two tall boys in a session and golly it makes me an emotional mess the next day even though I’m not hungover, doom scrolling, dwelling in the past and worrying about the future have been my distractions.