Welp I have dealt with all of them, LOL. Shits powerful, and I already know I need to be gentle and methodical with these. Heavy hitters I can already see I have issue with, I don't matter, Life is hard, Success is for others not me, If I don't do it myself it will never get done, They're judging me, I'm not loved, I've got some work to do, onward.
Hey Jag, I have almost crippling fear when faced with authority and people above my station, auch as police, but also it took me years to not feel the same thing when my wife was angry and dissatisfied with me. My father used to be pretty explosive and authoritative when I was young, so I attribute it to that. Also I have this feeling of inadequacy and feel deep shame about myself and practically remember every embarassing thing I've done in my life which weights me down, including cheating on my wife. She forgave me, but I am struggling hard with forgiving myself, leading to all kind of problems. Any insight is appreciated and thank you for what you are doing.
Totally struck guys. My youngest sister had a rare eye cancer as an infant. I always wondered how something so sad could happen to babies and newborns. Was it just genetic? What influenced the disease and why did she receive it and not me, or another sibling? What was going on with my mom at the time? How was I imprinted upon? What am I having trouble with in knowing what's mine and what isn't? I was the black sheep word for word from the lesson, breaking away from the mother and family, on my own. Cause my soul was screaming for it. This opens up a pretty deep rabbit hole Jag.
Hey all, anyone following a structure or script that helps them dismantle internal programs? Lets say I go to a past moment where I feel like a victim - are there specific questions in a specific order you follow to help break through it? Such as: 1. Am I sure this is absolutely true? 2. How is this serving me? Etc etc… Would love to hear, and discuss, some of your methods and scripts!
I try to take myself back to the moment or moments where I picked up the shit and use whatever questions that can get me there. Somethings I have pretty heavy memory blocks around and I have to rely on how my body physically responds.
I say to myself "This is my responsibility to handle." "My loved ones do not deserve to be in the crossfire." "Why am I allowing what I received from my parents to dictate the direction of my life?" "How are you allowing this to affect your choices?" "What's behind your behavior in these moments?" I pay attention to my attitude toward everything. I believe my attitude is a canary in a coal mine. If it starts getting really shitty or toxic I know I being asked to pay attention and do something about it. "