I remember years ago I was very young and in primary school… I would always see on posters around me. “Don’t bottle up your emotions.” And of I went on YouTube at the time or I heard from family, teachers or whatever I would hear the same. And truth be told I honestly had no idea what they were really talking about. I thought of it as some vaque thing “mhm do not bottle up and suppress your emotions, sounds true.” But I never really understood why, but now I do it. It was about trauma, it was due to the fact of you bottle up your emotions / do not process them that = unprocessed emotion, which is trauma. And anyways of you try bottle up your emotions sooner or later you will end up “exploding” then releasing them in a bad way and doing something silly as a result. That is why it is important to heal trauma / process unprocessed emotion, it will save you from outbursts were you do something really bad. And not to mention the benefits of a regulated nervous system: 1. Better mental health 2. No longer in survival mode 3. Better mindset / decision making 4. Operating out of light energy 5. And much more So there you have it, make sure to not bottle up your emotions, and always process them in a good, safe and healthy way.

════════════════════════════════════ The Bullying The bus door shuts. I sit down near the back like usual. Two guys beside me. One across the aisle. One of them pulls out his phone and starts laughing. Not normal laughing. The kind where someone keeps looking at you while they do it. One of them turns the phone around. “Someone made this your TikTok profile picture.” It is a picture of me. An old one. From when I was younger. Edited. Stupid looking. Everyone on the bus starts laughing. And I cannot even check if it is real. I deleted social media months before. So now I just sit there with this feeling in my stomach that something is happening everywhere online and I cannot see it. ════════════════════════════════════ This is how the whole thing ends. But it does not start there. ════════════════════════════════════ January. Final year of school. Before Christmas break I had one real friend. Not a big group. Just one. During the break he leaves school. Just like that. So when January comes around, I walk back into school and there is no one to sit with. Lunch. Break. Classes. Just me. I start hanging around a group of guys in the year below. I call them friends because it feels better than saying I am alone. They are not friends. At first it is small things. Little jokes. Little comments. Nothing huge. So I play along. I laugh. I make jokes back. I act like a clown. That was the mistake. Because now they know I react. And reacting makes it fun. So the jokes get worse. A little worse. Then worse again. Days pass. Then weeks pass. Then months pass. Lunch time becomes the worst part of the day. They start calling me names. They try grabbing things from my pockets. Sometimes they take pictures of me. Soon it is not just them. It spreads. Whole groups laughing. One day a crowd forms. Dozens of people. Just standing there calling me names. I shout something back. A teacher walks over. And somehow I am the one who gets in trouble. ════════════════════════════════════ February.

I used to be fill of trauma, full of unprocessed emotion, my life was awful… To fill the void I used to use the “motivation” from my trauma’s to try and desperately push myself forward. It did not work… I still felt empty despite success cause of my unhealed trauma. I wish I had a simple guide on how to heal trauma because like I said before trauma was such a vaque topic for me, the reason for that was cause of all the other overcomplicated sh*t explanations of it. Here is the guide I wish I had: To heal your trauma, first of all bring up the past unprocessed emotion then act on what your brain tells you even of it says cry or whatever but do not do anything harmful to yourself or others, do it but maybe make sure you are alone for this, and sometimes people do not know what to do in that case do a generic method like shaking, breath work, cold exposure or whatever and that will work, do that for legit like a couple mins just until when you put your focus back to the past trauma it no longer angers you, that is it.

When I was younger and first wanted to begin healing my past trauma’s that I had suppressed… I overcomplicated it, really I did. I looked at all this content online on trauma, not once did I get a good explanation, just a load of fluff that was not helpful to be honest, just pure sh*t of I am honest. It made me overthink it so much “Oh do I have CPTSD, do I have emotional trauma, do I have physical trauma?” I wish I was told to not overcomplicate things, and this is why I am making this post, as a reminder to someone new who is going to begin their healing journey. Really most of the time guys all trauma is, is just unprocessed emotion, over complicating does not help anything and just makes you overthink, don’t do that. Keep things simple for yourself, tbh this honestly is a general lesson not just trauma related, keep things basic and minimal, don’t overthink.

Do you think all the moments in your life should be good moments? Do you think there should be no bad moments? Of so, you are mistaken, cause not everything is meant to be good. There cannot be light without dark, you know? There has to be some balance, and that balance is made a reality due to the fact there is negativity. Keep this in mind, and next time you feel mad at yourself cause you had a bad day, remind yourself of this and just accept bad days / moments when they come up and regardless keep pushing forward.