A useful mantra I've been coming back to recently is: Ok God, what do I do now? Keeps me out of trouble and reminds me to align with "the way" as much as I can

Still struggling with forgiveness… how do you move on?

I am currently on semen retention, i tried it a few years back, but was not ready, my last streak was 27 days, my goal is 30 and beyond, i am seeing lust now as more of an energy with drive, today (day 9) lust got heavy and i surrendered it all to the divine, which has worked so far. I am also continuing with self enquiry, I'm at ease with not being the body, a little tougher with the mind and ego, when in thought or self talk find it hard to notice i am the awareness of, until afterwards.

I have been on a path to finding enlightenment on and off for over the past 8 years. I ended up getting into a relationship that ended up in my partner getting married behind my back, lying constantly, I watched them become everything they said they stood against. It was absolutely soul crushing. This was the first time I had ever truly felt seen in life. I ended it and it was hard for the first 6 months or so, then the path to enlightenment started randomly popping up in everything I saw. So far I have learned just how important it is to love yourself and accept yourself where you are for there is nowhere else to be but here and now. It may have felt awful in those moments, however I have come to realize that was the exact experience I needed to finally see why it’s so important to turn inward to heal, to love, to grow. I’m still learning, but I am curious how do you go about your triggering thoughts and saving yourself from the downward spiral?