Today I had a very full day. It included kids school activities, baking cookies for relatives, packing and leaving on a trip. There was necessary communication with someone who has a difficult history with me that has often caused a negative physical response in my body just to know that I will see them. It wasn't impossibly draining to be with this person. One kid told me last minute that they weren't going. Along the way I took note that things are a lot different in my brain that they were a few short months ago. I remember what it was like for my brain to shut down at just one of a number of these challenges. Its so different now. I had the confidence and clarity, enough to handle a navigation problem while driving, something that would have previously been dangerous or impossible. I made some key decisions without getting paralysis. I just slowed down the process a bit. Yes I really was once that stressed about so many things . Yes this really is changing my life. But this isn't a new me that won at therapy by finally powering through or something. 😂 It's more like the real me that was always there. I just have access to the best in me again, and I don't have to live with the progressively debilitating weight of continual mental torture. I still have problems. I still find new areas of me that need to come home within my being for support. But that support is always there waiting for me. Jesus was there the entire time when I felt disconnected from myself and from the Divine. I am learning to reconnect. I am learning experiencially that there is no separation.

I just wanted to share something that helps me often: when certain words stand out, I go to the dictionary to read the definition. That then guides me further in my daily practice. Also, not knowing the bible well at all, I have found putting a general idea that may drop in during the day, in the search bar. AI then gives me several results from which I go and look up what speaks to me.

We can turn to Jesus and ask, “ How do you want me to use my life, time, and resources here for our country’s reconciliation?” What do you experience?

And everyone else who joined us on the seminar October 11-12. I was so touched by everyone's willingness to be vulnerable and hold space for each other by being with the "scariest" parts of ourselves. It was truly great meeting you all and I can't wait to do it all again in February! If anyone likes to connect on social media I'm on Facebook and Instagram under a.d.therapeutics

This morning's practice helped me connect with an old challenge and then revealed the pattern with big decisions through my life. As I started to feel it along my sensory core, I was amazed at how gentle the process was. In the rest practice afterwards, I saw a little wooden box, pretty and menacing at the same time. The word explosion came through. I then realized that I had been afraid all of my life to get close to it in the fear that if I was tempted to open it, it would explode into my face and destroy me. It did not. The emotion of numbness which has kept me safe for so many years is starting to come to life. Along with it I got an assignment for today: write two letters of. That is my way of stepping forward and bringing to the world a new way of being. The emotion I am feeling is forgiveness.