@Scott Dozier I figured out how to change my name on here so it's now accurate. Does that count as a win? 😆

Yeah! Crushed it at the gym today, and started taking some real steps to being responsible for and owning my physical health again. I also had a few good days of getting out and living my life which is huge. Since getting injured it's been too easy to stay at home and get into isolation. But a few days ago I got out and explored my town, had lunch at a new place, and had an awesome creative session. Yesterday I went out to lunch with my best friend for their birthday, and went to a game night birthday party. I was kinda worried I'd be overwhelmed in a group of people but it was actually a lot of fun. It was fun to see these people again, and bond with a great group of people. It's interesting being the only straight cis dude in a group of queer and trans people, and to be seen as genuine and non-threatening. I feel like a good mark of healthy masculinity is to be able to provide safe container and space for everyone around you, especially when they aren't necessarily used to that being the case.

Love it. 9 and 10 are some areas I definitely have struggled with in the past. Struggling to ask for help is a big one for me, and I have (hopefully) outgrown my "helping people fix shit" phase, haha. The last live call was really good for me. Thanks for creating and holding that space!

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies! @Scott Dozier I appreciate what you said about your ego - that's something I can definitely relate to. My ego wants me to stay in familiar territory, and continue to interject itself in most circumstances, and this work is no different. I love what you said about things not needing to make sense. I feel like coming to that understanding is imperative in this work, especially when learning to surrender. @Aaron Moon Cantwell I love what you said about the tantric tumo. I haven't practiced that for a long time, personally, and I kind of forget that it's in my toolbox. The teacher where I picked it up saidd that monks would do that breathing in the freezing snow, and generate so much heat they were able to melt the snow around them just from breathing. And that image always stuck with me in terms of melting through the layers of ice around one's heart. Reading you describe how it broke through your barriers in a very real way, healing wounds and everything- that's powerful stuff. I'm absolutely looking forward to being able to learn and experience it on a deeper level. As for the changes I've been experiencing, it's almost like I'm becoming the version of myself I've always sort of wanted to be. One of the first things I noticed is that I’m moving with more intention and being more deliberate in my choices. I’ve found myself acting and speaking with more intention, and I’m naturally becoming more patient, kind, and understanding. Acting from a place of love for the world and the people around me is something that hasn’t always come easy, but it’s almost like my whole being is re-calibrating to that frequency. I've also started feeling lonely, and actually noticed that I *want* connection with other people. It's weird, because most of my life I've viewed myself as a loner, and kind of taken pride in my ability to sit comfortably with myself and my own thoughts. But lately I've noticed that I'd rather go on a hike with a buddy, than go alone. And I'm feeling the same way about a lot of things.

@Aaron Moon Cantwell That's definitely a big question for me right now. It's really interesting to see how this is affecting self-image, etc. Looking forward to diving in!

@Robert Olivieri "Staying conscious and deliberate with the things i'm putting out into the world" - That's a powerful intention, especially in today's world where everything wants to get us swept up in negativity and negative emotions. I appreciate this reminder today, I think I saw it exactly when I needed to.