"If he loved me, he would know why I'm mad." "If she cared, she would see that I'm drowning." False. Your spouse is not a psychic. They are just a person. Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.
The Fix: Use your words. "I am feeling overwhelmed and I need help with the dishes" is infinitely better than huffing around the kitchen hoping they notice. Clarity is kindness.