A poem I wrote about my panic attacks
My chest is caving in again, I swear I feel it crack, Heartbeat’s racing like a car crash I can’t take back. Every breath’s a warning sign, red lights in my brain, I tell myself I’m fine but it’s just another chain. Mirror says “you’re worthless”, and I almost believe, Tried to patch my heart with tape, it just won’t ever leave. I can’t breathe in my own skin, Feels like I’m drowning deep within. I fake a smile, say “I’m okay,” But I’m breaking more each day. I’m a failure in disguise, Screaming out behind my eyes, No one hears the war within, Can’t breathe in my own skin. My head’s a hurricane, spinning guilt and fear, All the voices in my skull are the only ones I hear. I used to have a spark, now it’s ashes in my throat, Every dream I ever had, I built it just to watch it float. My friends say “it’ll pass,” but they don’t understand, This storm inside my chest don’t listen to commands. It’s the panic at 3 a.m., When your body’s not your friend, And your heartbeat sounds like gunfire You can’t defend. And depression’s just a ghost That wears my face, It whispers, “you’re a waste,” And I can’t escape. Tear me open, see I bleed static, My head’s a riot, it’s automatic. Try to fight but my lungs give in, Drowning in the dark again. I can’t breathe in my own skin, Feels like I’m fading from within. I fake a laugh, I play the part, But I’m collapsing in the dark. I’m a failure in disguise, Still I’m trying to survive, No one hears the war within, But I’ll learn to breathe again.