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Third Step
Well, because the level 3 notice told me to... I'm sharing the first scene from the first chapter of what used to be the first book of the SciFi > Horror > Mystery > Coming-of-Age series I'm working on. It's now the second book, but the one I've put the most work into (around 40k words so far). All constructive feedback welcome.
*I'm using ' to reflect the character's thoughts (Skool won't copy over italicized font).
Derek’s silent tears rolled over his dirt-crusted cheeks in the defiled valley, where savage moonlight glinted off flame-charred trees; monoliths of sorrow mourning their fallen brethren.
A cruel breeze whipped his eyes while gazing wearily at the nearby Aspens. Their quaking clusters of golden leaves an omen of pointless hope before devastation revisits the Sierra-Nevada foothills.
'At least as a colony they have each other… but they’re just kids, like me.'
Grim as it was, it’s the only place Derek found solace when he could escape the compound. He knew it was dangerous – both if discovered, and the risks of being in such a place. It’s illegal to teach one of his social stature any skills of self-sufficiency… or at least it was.
'The war is finally over, but Lilith’s Defiance is defunct now. What’s going to happen to us? Will anything get better? Maybe I’ll finally get a toy! I guess people found a way after the last two World Wars. Maybe we will, too…'
The crystal pulsed in his filthy shaking hands.
'Weird… it happened again…'
It was the third time a glint of light shone from the crystal. Mistaken moonlight was an easy assumption… but moonlight isn’t purple. He clutched it to his chest, twisting tears trailing to his lips again as he shook his head.
'Why can’t you be here, Dad?! Why do I have to fight so hard to get anything of yours?! This is ALL I have left since losing you to the raiders, but if mom found out I took it…'
The crystal pulsed again, now with bass reverberating through him. He couldn’t ponder on it long before a bright light focused on him.
“THERE HE IS!! APPREHEND AND RECOVER!!”
He bounded over charred branches, betraying him with every break. Hiding behind a large trunk, heart pounding in his chest, the crystal matched. After a long silence, he checked for a break, but it was too late. His wary gaze was met only with a grubby hand swooping down.
“NO! PLEASE, MOM! DOOON’T!!”
SLAP. Fresh dirt smeared across his face, his tears leaving streaks, stinging the fresh cuts from her nails.
“PLEASE! STOP!!”
The familiar sting of gritty uneven nails dug into his arm.
“MOM PLEASE!!” He managed on his knees through sobbing.
SLAP. Crack…
Stars too twinkling to be real filled the sky of his mind. Fresh blood mixed with the tears on his lip; the lonely wound reluctantly welcomed by the healed. He crumpled face-down on the cold ashy ground. His dwindling consciousness yielded a fleeting but strong sensation – a deep pulse from the crystal, and an alien but familiar warmth entering him with the sound of faint melancholic cello notes, and the smell of rotten lavender. His light green eyes flickered yellow then faded as his long eyelashes met, caked with ash and tears.
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Third Step
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